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12/13/06 - www.woodypaige.com URL for sale
you read it right. don't call the dentist, your eyes are just fine. hit me up
with an offer at info@woodypaige.com. in the subject line put, "mcgriddles with
mayo". in the body put your offer and i will contact you if its good enough. i
will be giving up the whole "blood and guts" of the site. you can chose to do
what you want with it... you can completely abort the thing and make it look like that
joke message board. my GOD! i'd rather be caught alone in a mens bathroom with
Bill Plaschke. we'll organize a paypal payment and ill hand over the keys. ill
tell you this, $200 isnt interesting. $300 doesn't pay tonights gambling debt.
$400 won't pay for a weeks worth of Reali's makeup. Step up ninja! make this
site hot again like i killed it early on. i may even offer you some gems on
occasion (but, i doubt it). speaking of the message board, that thing turned into
a Michael Richards stand up show. after my departure - wow... the bulls post jordan,
stamos without rebecca, TV without HD, hotdogs without butter. now, forget presents
for you family, mistress, your pet octopus, etc... and treat yourself to the
the most needy URL on the woody wide web.
6/27/05 - WP's birthday!!!
hotter than wearing a peach colored mink, in central park, in late june. hotter
than the new Ying Yang Twins release. hotter than rumors of my demise. you got
it ninja! WP was born on this day - 39 years ago! the ageless wonder is celebrating
another misunderstood year on Planet Paige. WP is to genius as a fat kid is to a
deep fryer. lets not mix words since my words are few and far between. you
know WP is doing it big... rumors are rampant... $.50 is hosting a party for
Woodrow. Anna Kournikova is not accepting "no" as an answer. Scores is closing
both NYC locations in hopes of a WP sighting. Teddy Long is getting new frames!
cats loving dogs! $700 haircuts for everybody! alright, alright let me put
on my oxygen max. its been awhile ninjas... better get the aqua lung ready as well.
it seems like i havent watched ATP(aige) since the Iraq invasion. Since the Rock left WWE.
since rusty wallace won a race. since shannon elisabeth wont leave me alone. i dont
know what to say... antonia has always supported me and the ninjas like a pair
of jockey briefs. maybe Puke needs an aruba vacation. maybe nissan should have sent
me a 350z. maybe mcdonalds should have coughed up the $7 million i requested in
advertising. the time slot could be it. im more "up" at 4am than 4pm central.
espn.., get on that scheduling. and get Simers while your at it. you all know
damn well that WP is going first to MIL in the draft tomorrow. similarly,
you all know damn well that WP is set to replace Torre. you think WP is in NYC
for that Pizza Parlor show?!? think big picture ninjas. Woodrow Jr. is a lock
for that position like Velasquez/Pletcher at Belmont Park. like humidity to FL.
like hot dogs with mayonaisse.
alright ninjas, why not help the less fortunate on WP's birthday... order up about
3215, 47, 8765-2 WP shirts and send them to children in Monaco ; )
P4L! holla at me. yeah ya miss me, i miss ya too...
6/27/05 - My dog Skip
whocares.com! deep south, french quarter ninjas babycakes and boo boo (aka, piggy and little one) just informed me that
"my dog" Skip has blasted WP.com ninjas. before this "skippy come lately" gets
vocal, lets look at his "talentless" bio on coldpizza.tv (formerly:
morningafter-hungover-moldypizza.com). ninjas, quickly move past the knight rider,
Kitt's bio. unless you need to know something about nothing. and, take a look
at the sentence offered Skip. NOW, look below for the real meat. the meat that
your local butcher keeps behind the counter for "special ninjas". look at that
novel! are you kidding me?!? that Genius bio had to be scaled back for sure. 270
super bowls, 180 championship fights (including 39 of his own), etc... cold pizza
= WP. 1st and Wood = WP. ATH = WP. and the internet = WP.com. go get Skippy's mailing
address and show him how ninjas react to such slander! we react with text violence.
let him know that the local wal-mart is selling one gallon cartons of talent. he
should pick up a case. im done stating the obvious... ive got a mcgriddle
to address.
ATH secures Nissan. so, can a budget be drafted to lose that "wine-y" ninjettes
voice that leads to commercial breaks??? "aaaaarrrrroooooouuunnnndddd ttthhhheee
hhhhhoooooorrrrnnnn, brought to you by nissan". oh my ears!!! "everything we shift, we try
eat mcgriddles". "everything we change, we buy WP.com shirts of mass destruction".
the WP blackboard kidnapping rumors are rampant. i have no clue ninjas. my "insiders"
are not offering me any CIA ninja data on this one. whatajoke.com. WP has a
stupid Redskins helmet in his booth??? even mary brought in a scoreboard prop
last week. veryoriginal.com. the new "bottom of the screen". is that where the new
Nissan money went? well, that bright idea is about as exciting as a hangnail.
about as exciting as Puke in square #1. about has exciting as a Teddy Long
comment.
mary is still a no for a guest"FAQ". and, i reached out to TJ... to no avail.
im trying ninjas... not getting much assistance from the top, so its the one man show.
all recent t-shirt orders have been taken to the printer. i hope to ship by the end
of the week. profits go to the American Diabetes Association and to my McGriddle
fund. btw, ninjas... keep your eyes out for the limited edition Eggo product -
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough waffle. these waffles aint nothing to mess with - holla.
cmon Antonia!!! shameless plug time! "from los angeles we have...", "from
chicago we have", "and, from new york, here's woodypaige.com". you know the ninjas
got your back. although, dont think we havent seen your grimacing when WP is
waxing elaborate ; )
WP and Howard Stern at Scores rumors continue to run rampant!!!! P4L!!!!
12/09/04 - URGENT!
the WP Ninja Mob boss has reason to speak. i've been muzzled for a minute but,
this is to big. this is bigger than Yao. this is bigger than Yokozuna. this
is bigger than the debut of the McGriddle. WP representing the Genius that he is
on this new 1st and 10 delivery. my first time exposure to this ESPN masterpiece
was today. and, for starters, let it be known that WP's $700 haircut is looking
better than ever. bottom line, this IS the format for WP. WP is truly the whole
show. no nonsensical meddling from WP wannabee's. a half hour of the modern
day Shakespeare is what we FINALLY got. no mute buttons in sight. hotter than
the new Ludacris release and rivaling the new Need for Speed: 2. you gotta be
kidding?!? ninjas, if aint tuned in yet - ya late! 1st and Wood is legit and
cannot be ignored. now, some things to be ignored... Puke, Mariotti, girls
that dont pay for ninjas dates, "clear and cream", TV's without HD receivers
and working.
speculative rumor is rampant... ninjas from spokane, gainesville, tokyo, london,
chicago and bakersfield all want to know... - am i coming back... you know
the theory, if WP is utilized to the fullest. stay tuned...
major props to the dirty south ninja jimmy for keeping us posted on ATH over
on the message board. get over to the board and post! P4L is in
effect! be clear and GET BACK, if you aint a ninja, you dont know WP like that!
11/1/04 - Get well soon Jimmy!
wp ninjas have always been the nucleus of wp.com - bottom line. and, although a bit late,
i want to recognize a hospitalized ninja: tampa jimmy. to me, the most dedicated
ninja that has contributed mightily to this site - get well soon brother...
where do/to whom do i send my ATH "get well soon" card?
ghostzapper goes coast to coast in the classic. p.p. just went FAR too wide out of the last turn. roman ruler doesnt show up in the
juvenile. ouija board is a MONSTER. kittens joy falls to a 25/1 (that inquiry was a longshot). ashado and
sweetcatomine do the expected. singletary came from out of the clouds in the turf!
prado still doesnt have a BC win and texas' own bailey left with a goose egg.
the NBC coverage was great and so was TVG's. LOVE that brit handicapper!
the less you gamble, the more you lose, when you win....
9/20/04 - day late 9/19 (i'm sick!) (ATH)
Clinched the division title: WP. No chance for a wild card: JAA, Mary Otti, Cowchip
re: the NFL to date... "the five C's are critical", says WP. with one of the
five "C's" obviously being the C-hawks - LOL. now thats original gangsta ninja
WP at his best! WP knows its over with as NYY took 2 of 3 from the Celtics. its all
about NYY... and dont forget (although not much of a stretch) who gave you NYY to
win it all. holla at wp.com! RAW! is going to be boring (except for Christian) tonight.
b or s. WP buys Vapor Rub Vick as the individual NHL story of the weekend. WP
buys Coughlin getting the game puck after the Rangers victory. WP buys the major
decline in the NBA being the Kansas City Royals defense. best passing duo???
WP says McNabb to T.O. more importantly, its 4:18pm central and i wish i could
buy a McGriddle... JAA is out like Charles Rogers ; (
oob. Pale Rider, for the 17th time, is better than the Ryder Cup. WP says a dead guy
(michael smiths personality???) could coach better than Don Sutton. I could fill
a panelist square better than JAA. but, who cares about ratings??? WP tells Deion
to move on and I'm about get my PS2 on....
Mary is out like Winslow Jr.
WP went to TEN and knows Rocky Top by heart and that is good enough to be up a point!
C'MON STAT GIRL!... -1. WP takes the Lions over the Jags as a better start. forget it...
wow! what a PTI intro. i caught a "late night" Reali on ESPN radio's "overnight"
show. you want a write up on that??? she basically read the morning paper to you...
still waiting on WP's replies to the first three questions posed on the message
board re: "15 seconds with"... still waiting on the website "new look" and the new
guestFAQ to drop... believe ninjas, i wanted it yesterday as well.
9/15/04 - Enzyte! Wood is back... (ATH)
All man: WP. Jealous: Puke, Theodore Long, Mary
BOS should be playing big instead of talking big says WP. also adding the BOS
should be feared in the NHL playoffs. NYY closed at 5/2 to 1 to win it all -
get my point ninjas? hope your down... when Keyshawn talks, whothehellcares.com!
WP offers that Keyshion believes that he is Deion. on that note, that Rangers
reliever best get his Plea on. whomever sold Theodore those glasses is still
laughing.
b or s. WP buys Jewelz Santana and the Dip Set as the best SP in baseball. WP
sells DeLaHoya as a possible winner this saturday. wp.com buys this fight going
over 11.5 rounds and i'll be there to see it and waste my profits at Club Paradise!
My phone is ringing... and the voice said, "who cares about Kidd"! WP buys hockey
making a comeback... if your buying that wp.com is selling Tyson as the next
heavyweight champ on ebay...
like WP was going to be eliminated.
oob. WP has seen all of Lee Majors and states the Pale Ryder Cup is more popular.
WP helps out Puke and, i think, is backing Mr. 3k as an "ET" like blockbuster.
like WP was going to be elimidated. uh oh..., Antonia didnt get the memo...
why am i remotely excited to see this Singfried and Patrick Roy special tonight?
is that extreme world cup of summer hockey bowl over? did the austrailians return
to puck greatness? nascar 2005 is a must have. so is a 911 GTIII porsche. so is
karolina kurkova. i need "website" webmaster ninja help... ninjas, if you understand
this "FTP" crap, i need your help. i considered learning it but, im busy resting...
great performance buy the best soccer team money can buy (real madrid) today...
9/14/04 - Levitra, Viagra - we got Wood! (Dream Job)
where have i been? where's WP been is the question... generally, im only going
to write on WP's ATH appearances. why? because i cannot stand these other shows...
im not going to even try and wake up for Mold Pizza (and the talentless Kit Kar)
and this Dream Job is American Idolatry in disguise (either = pain). but, since
i havent seen WP in awhile....
look at the pinstripe WP showed up in! no wonder Steven A. "wonderhowikeepgettingwork.com"
Smith is so upset. actually, i think he wakes up mad. whats this guys problem?
i hope you all are ready for his "Simon" role... speaking of work, since
the cancellation of Knight Rider, is there any use for Kit? she isnt really
"eye candy" so, whats the ROI with her? at least she's a "buffer" between
Genius and Smith. Al Jaffee? whointhebluehell.com? talk about a face made for
radio. everybodys favorite girl Antonia would have made a better panelist...
bottom line, Kit is disturbing... am i the only one questioning her TWO paychecks
from ESPN? fire her, give WP FOUR paychecks and get TJ Simers back on ATH!
WP returns to ATH tomorrow... now, time to get a nap in prior to the WSOP finals.
this "Dream Job" is such "filler".
9/2/04 - Around the Kobe
Genius: Woody Paige. 5th year seniors: JAA, Cowchip and Mary
WP breaks down the Kobe Kase and, obviously, feels a deal was made. JAA said it,
"its all about money" - agreed.com. no scoring on that topic... jimmy, is that a first?
WP says Kobe is beloved around the world and people will move on. i chose to say
nothing on this topic. first commercial and Around the Kobe will be back in
2 minutes...
whats on the Discovery channel?
b or s. l-duke-ay as the NYY playoff starter? WP buys. if you havent bought yet,
wp.com suggests buying the NYY's at a now, 5/2 to win it all. Joan Rivers as the
starting QB for the Mastercards? WP sells noting the holdout. wp.com suggests buying
the Chicago Bears "under" the posted season wins total of 6.5. Alonzo back? Kid hurt?
WP sells the Knets as the biggest "dropoff" team and says its the LAL's. once again,
wp.com suggests you buy the Sooners at 7/2 to win it all in NCAAF. Mary eats
an 8.5 x 11 on his way out! this is definately an Antonia original finishing move.
wp.com is buying the "8.5 x 11" over the F5.
whats on the Travel channel?
oob. WP is in last but, "its still freaking early", says the HOF voter.
Sharapova, Kournikova, Kurkova - wp.coms loves us some Russian blondes!
WP is backing Sharapova's "upside". wp.com has no issue with the listed's "backside's".
NCAAF needs Cornhuskers to be successful says WP. ATH needs WP in showdowns
for an alcohol sponsor...
JAA v. Cowchip in the showdown...
whats on the Weather channel?
sorry i missed yesterday ninjas... a VERY long card playing day had me at "wits" end.
where did Antonia get that outfit - gangsterwannabesrus.com? i cannot believe it!!!
i was the second highest bidder for Britney's gum on ebay! those ninjas interested in money,
im giving you this early - Adoration in a romp in this saturdays GIII Matron
at Arlington Park. i killed "Red Dead Revolver" about a week back. real good
PS2 "shooter". but, when doesnt Rockstar Games deliver??? cannot wait for
GTA: San Andreas. Smackdown! tonight - askmeificare.com
8/31/04 - "I should have just stayed in Grease", says Mary Otti...
wp.com has the one way plane fare right herre!
More welcome than Kotter: Genius. Guests that just wont leave: JAA, Mary, Mike
WP says he likes My Cousin Vinny leading the DAL
Cowchips into the postseason. Genius says the Red Sawx must
beat the Eisners to gain ground on the NYYs. WP.com
thinks that Mary Otti needs to be grounded for
sneaking in that little rock from Grease. First
commercial and WP is making his move and Katie is waiting by the phone...
Buy or Sell: WP likes Serena's U.S. Open ping-pong
attire and says she could've won with combat boots -
LOL! WP.com wonders/hopes that Puke caught the ATH boot...
WP has three words for Mary Otti: "You are
a FOOL!" - LOL! WP says President Clinton is very
crucial to Drama City's success this season. Genius
says the Mets should trade Deep Dish Pepperoni Piazza to the
Dodgers in exchange for JA A and Vomit. Bring back TJ!
Bring back TJ! JA A starts packing.
Out of Bounds: WP likes the Godfather of Soul James
Brown as the greatest football player of all-time.
Genius says he won't be watching the "Honeysuckle
Rose" movie and says he thought Cosell had a bad toupee - LOL! ESPN
Instant classic! This Just In: Mary Otti has been
arrested by the Athens Police and is being held on
$1,000,000,000,000,000 bail for that stolen rock and obscene eyebrows.
Showdown Bonanza: WP says he likes Maddux better than Dusty Rhodes - +1.
Genius wants to be one of Woodson's posse - even.
WP says he would like to name his child
"Comiskey" while WP.com notes Antonia is falling
asleep at the "ATH" controls. WP is out first or wins tomorrow - book it Dan-o!
3:29:04 until a new WSOP main event broadcast - loves it! pete rose didnt bet enough.
anyone care where Vomit went??? seems like the same card every monday on RAW!
paris hilton in the new Guess ads. cara wakelin on stern last night. i dont know...,
i still got anna kournakova #1 with linda cohn (the X-games, tank top linda) a distant 3rd.
brock lesnar had as much of a chance of making the Vikings as Mary does getting
a fan website. yeah, i said it yesterday - hockey in august - getouttahere.com!
whomever is bored enough to watch/follow that obviously doesnt have Madden '05.
8/30/04 - ATH sponsors dream come true - Woodys back!
The peoples medalist (aka, biggest HOV fan): Woody Paige. 2008 Dream Team members: Cowchip, Mary Otti, Mr. Excitement
WP liked the overall setting of the Grease games but
also adds that the U.S. men's basketball team not
winning Gold is a huge disappointment - next to ATH
without WP for 2.5 weeks. Genius says Richard Tom Coughlin set up
Eli to fail. Hey Coughlin its WP's town... What about
WP's open challenge for a loser-leaves-town, ninja weapon of choice, death match!
Mary Otti leaks that WP spent too much time with Katie
Couric at an Athens bar - and whossurprised.com? First commercial and WP already has
secured ATH Gold.
Buy or Sell: WP sells the Tennessee St. Titanics this
year and gives ninjas the first "Look at the
schedule! and here it is - "ATH" and WP are on every day this week.
Genius says Barry Bonds is the most feared player in
pro sports. WP ninjas are also the most feared/loving presence on the internet.
Mr. Excitement claims you need to win
titles to be the most feared. anyonelistening.org??? WP
says the NYYs should be shaking and that the Sawx can
still win the division. Mr. Excitement's invite says "kiddie table".
Out of Bounds: WP calls Mary Otti a terrible person
before OOB - no doubt! WP says NBC did a terrible job in handling
the Olympics saying there was more than gymnastics,
swimming and beach volleyball (speculation out of Grease has Misty May
stalking WP...). Genius says the MTV Music Awards are more relevant
than Mary Otti and the Grannies who hand out awards to Ole King Cole.
Cowchip goes off to the Cowboys game while listening to some Jay-Z in the
6-disc.
Extreme Gold Medal Showdown: WP likes HOU in NL Wild Card
competition with Rocket and Pettite. WP likes Prime Time Neon Dionne Warwick's
comeback. Mary Otti wins but, pressure from WP.com will rest assured have him
giving back this victory.
yes, the acronym is watchable again... WP and Couric spotted in Athens?!? what
happens in Greece... much love T for shoutin' out the ninjas pre showdown. yes, with WP back
we're coming out of the wood(row)work. #8 back to back in bristol without a mention???
not even from Cowchip... Cowchip did mention hockey in late august though - PATHETIC!
anyone who saw USC better bet OKL at 7/2 to win the Orange. i would have had to
watch the olympics to have a memorable part... hows this though, best part is that its
over and WP is back where he belongs! holla holla
8/21/04 - Its My Birthday! (aka, weekend update...)
what you can do is send me congratulation e-mails, and/or (even better) simply buy
a few hundred wp.com shirts! outside of that, bet on: pleasantly perfect to kill
in the pacific classic tomorrow and kasey kahne to win his first cup race. NYY at 2/1
is still the world series play. and, im stepping out a bit to place a couple dollars
on BAL at 18/1 to win the super bowl. cannot find odds on NCAAF but, will bet
OKL when they're posted. big samurai thanks to all the ninjas that have already mailed - thanks!
8/17/04 - I turned off MLL Lacrosse - FOR THIS!!! (ATH)
Cleared waivers and no one cares: JA A, Cowchip, Sports Boy, Mr. Excitement
What in the blue hell was Mr. Excitement doing during introductions? Doesnt
the left side of Cowchips head look like a sawed off shotgun exit wound?
Antonia without a solid color shirt. Best part of todays show - the WSOP Main
Event ticker at the bottom. My birthday is this Saturday ninjas... Whats on my
NEED list: Karolina Kurkova, the new 911, grade A Plutonium, endless pocket
Aces, and a Gulfstream g4. WP.com feels that Roenick doesnt gamble
enough ; ) Quote of the day, from Cowchip of course, to Mr. Excitement
(prior to oob), "do you know how this round works"? - LOL. Can someone ID
Sports Boy - he doesnt look or sound like a day over 19. UCSB aint got
nothing on Hofstra!!! Looking forward to the site plug T ; ) Talk about
"white-itis", does Cowchip realize theres at least one other hip hop song
besides "99 problems"??? "Down goes Cowchip", says Antonia Cosell at the end
of the showdown. "Down go ratings without WP", "Down go ratings without WP".
Rumor is spreading all over the intranet about the "top secret" guestFAQ
thats coming soon. Ninjas, be afraid - be VERY afraid. This one is definitely
gunna split your wig. Hopefully, some aesthetic website upgrades as well.
8/16/04 - More painful then an un-necessary root canal... (ATH)
Single A ball players: JA A, Cowchip, Mean Gene, Mr. Jack M. (c'mon T! "the triumphant
return"? i'd rather have a triumphant return of the ebola virus).
quote of the day, "..., from someone who will never be a regular on this show",
Cowchip to Mean Gene. honestly, if you cant have WP, how fun would it be to have
the next best thing in a panelist square? ditch Gene Mean, i'm 15 minutes from
the sun-times building... ratings bonanza!!! Phelps, schmelps, pee'ing in the pool, - whocares.com!
ill tell you who cares... all the ninjas that came with me on Singh at 12/1. i hope
Roenick is a ninja ; ) Bob Ryan in a maternity ward - LOL. why havent pictures
of this flooded the intranet? i'm buying Antonia throwing 8.5 x 11's at panelists
but, i need her to identify the throw in this matter, "heres a little 8.5 x 11 juice
for you"! OMG! the best commercial going is that ninja who is "protecting" his
mcdonalds chicken strips. areyoukidding.org! now, if they only did that with
mcgriddles. im out like the USA basketball team and ATH ratings w/o WP...
8/11/04 - ATH without Woody Paige is like a doughnut without a hole...
Imposters: JA A, Mary Otti, Cowchip, Josh Bill Elliott Sadler
here's the write up... dont put a WSOP re-run on the Deuce while a "non-WP"
ATH is broadcast. you got yourself a ratings disaster recipe in the making.
couple of cool Ali G show references today but, Antonia really butchered "boo-ya-ka-sha".
Mary is off to Greece (hopefully with a one-way ticket). wow, its gunna be interesting (or not)
with WP and Mary gone. its gunna be the Cowchip .5 hour if you ask me. ok, PGA
outrights: Singh @ 12/1, Furyk @ 36/1 and Harrington @ 40/1. my father is at the
tournament and has been watching practice... i respect his golf game and knowledge
and he is also saying there will not be a under par winner. btw, my father is also
a ninja that is walking the course with a special edition, red, wp.com shirt... i gotta
get a picture of it. its a custom job with the front saying, "my son is the WP
Militia Mob Boss" ; ) back is stock... holla holla
8/10/04 - Your on the site that gets more daily hits than Ichiro... (ATH)
Gold-medal Panelist: Woody Paige. Failed to medal:
JA A, Mary Otti, Mr. X-Citement.
WP says that King George of NYC has the right to say what
he wants about the NYYs. WP.com has the right to use Mary Otti
columns as toilet paper... Woody believes that T.O. is
an idiot for the thought/mention that Jerry Garcia is gay.
First commercial and WP is on the podium with all three medals.
Buy or Sell: WP buys SEA's Edgar Allen Poe in the
Baseball Hall of Fame. Remember ninjas..., WP is an NFL and MLB
H.O.F. voter. Genius says the NFL should do away with
exhibition games. well, WP.com has to make wagers on
something... your welcome ninjas for WAS in the H.O.F. Game
last night. i'm here for you... WP buys Quentin Griffin as the next great
Ford Bronco. Sell JA A for making sense on this panel and wishing his initial were TJ.
Out of Bounds: WP offers the 1972 USA Basketball
team performing the biggest choke job ever. WP says he
has no problem with female Olympians posing nude. guess todays "non-panelist"
who would. See ya, Mary. Hope you get lost on your way to and from Athens.
Showdown: WP says Emmitt Smith will prove himself
better -1. Genius says Joan Rivers will have a
better year than "King Richard" Winslow - even.
Disregard the last topic. WP wins going away and
mentions all 384 registered, message board, militia ninjas in 15 seconds.
he really did!
well, WP is on break from ATH but, you early rising ninjas can check him out on that
gem "cold mcgriddles". your welcome for a return on investment in the first NFL
game this year. IS THERE A BREAKTHROUGH guest"FAQ" IN THE MAKING??? rumors
are that its going to be bigger than the olympics, bigger than Mariottis eyebrows,
bigger than ATH ratings when WP is in the showdown and bigger than Rosie O'Donnell.
ninjas, brace yourselves and let the speculation begin... BIG day of racing
this saturday at Arlington Park. three Grade I's, including the Million. i'll have
picks posted here...
8/09/04 - Your on the site that gets more daily hits than Google... (ATH)
More important to NY than Eli: WP. Scabs: some guy from Denver, Cowchip, Mary
Otti.
WP has no issue with backing the Gibbs' (the Bee Gee's that is) and makes the "key"
reference to Shawn Springs??? Portis was secondary... Cowchip has already mentioned
Nascar twice! its a Nascar Nation! ANA "cannot spank the monkey this year" says WP - OMG!
LOL! pay WP jerry seinfeld per episode money and ESPN still gets a bargain.
b or s. WP buys another 300 game winner and references that 8 year old who pitched in
that LLWS. you should buy 300 WP shirts. "High-zen-gah is a garbageman", says WP
and sells MIA's need for a $5m rebate from Ricky. buy Williams as the NFL's version
of Clarett (and/or ATH's version). WP sells the Fillies chances. some guy from
Denver is gone to try and fill WP's shoes.
oob. WOAH! Reali references woodypaige.com right off the bat!!! Love ya T! AND!!!,
it took the second, espn news broadcast for me too hear it...), WP follows that
with a "fist pump" and a lower volume'd "ninjas" mention! NICE!
WP buys a heavyweight boxing tournament as proposed by Don King. wp.com buys it
too. they should run it "Pride" fighting style... greatidea.com. WP brings the
meat on mondays! WP says the main olympic focus will be on the Acropolis, Greek
Gods, Gyro's, etc... my main olympic focus will be on my $10/20 card play...
pokerinathens.org - no kidding!!! check it out ninjas. Cowchip is...
Most Extreme Showdown Challenge. Genius takes the Cubs acquistions over the
Cards - 1. WP would rather "have a root canal" than watch a 17 inning baseball
game and opts for the Brickyard 400 (YES!!!). what?!? Mary sweeps... you know what,
i aint mad at'cha T ; )
nice site "pop" from Halle and "ninjas" reference from WP today. take WAS in a "pick" tonight. Lion Heart
looked the part and Rock Hard Ten didnt at Monmouth Park yesterday. has WP been
up to Saratoga yet? tune in tomorrow for WP's last appearance pre-olympics!!! he'll
be sure to mention all of you by name ; )
8/05/04 - WP is an NFL Hall of Fame voter and I wish could have watched some
Worlds Strongest Man instead of this titanic disaster episode... (ATH)
captain of the ATH ship: Genius. deck swabbers: Mary, Teddy, Puke (i think,
i honestly forgot)
no write up today... but what you are going to do is take 15 seconds to say a
prayer for our ninja justin who lost his father... justin created the template
for and manages the WP ninja militia message board... again, he lost his father
in a accident and his brother was also seriously injured. quite a few ninjas
have already posted sentiments on the message board... dont hesitate to get over
there and do similar if you are so inclined...
8/04/04 - danshanoff.who? (ATH)
resident ATH basketball expert: WP. NBDL beat writers: Puke, Mary, Smirnoff
WP starts off the show by revealing that Antonia
can't read - LOL! Genius says that Big D will be
better off without Nick Carter and with My Cousin
Vinny at QB. Let's see: Puke, Mary or Smirnoff - who
would "ATH" be better off? my vote is Teddy Long... The only "ATH" basketball
expert, WP, says Team USA needs to run back door plays - right answer!
Puke challenges Mary to give up her 18 jobs and
regular "ATH" appearances and start working in Greece - not a bad idea. a better
idea is that you join him Puke!
First commercial: WP is in last and Smirnoff LEADS?!?
whattheH.com
Buy or Sell: Geez, not only is Halle Reali
illiterate but he can't even tell Woody apart from
Mary?!? pathetichost.gov. WP sells the Ay's having a
breakthrough year. wp.com sells t-shirts under the merchandise link...
Genius sells Penny Hardaway and prefers Know-Mar being
the huge difference in the Cubs' breakdown. WP says
Big D's Cuban is no Genius (nobody even said he was)
but just another "computer geek". Mary Otti has
apparently flunked the "ATH" drug policy and is asked
to leave. there's only one Genius!!!
Out of Bounds: Genius says Head Nole Bobby Bowden
has been more of an embarassment than Puke for the
last three years (LOL). WP obviously favors the new "SI
Swimsuit" reality series. who wouldn't?!? oh yeah - Vomit yearns for the return
of the "SI" of his youth. mr. readers digest.com. WP.com fans meanwhile yearn
for the return of TJ! TJ! TJ! TJ! WP is booted and the ninjas get
stuck with a showdown disaster between Smirnoff (aka, jimminy cricket) and Vomit. id
rather have diarrhea than stay tuned...
it was nice to see my near neighbor gavin griffin take down the pot limit hold'em
bracelet and cash on ESPN last night (although he did it back in May). yes, gavin is a ninja... wow! we are way
overdue for a TV "pop"... the Certified Ninjas are concerned. im not a big wednesday
fan so, ill be off playing 10/20 hold'em at the hollywood casino in aurora, il tonight...
holla if your Certified! WHERES THE BROWN PINSTRIPE WP!!! dont say you left it
in CO?!?
8/03/04 - three more hours until a new WSOP episode... (ATH)
until then... its Genius, Mary, Barf Bag (some publisher is distributing a book
he pen'd???) and Mr. X-citement
WP says that the Sawx are now a complete team now
that Know-Mar is gone. "ATH" will be complete when
Vomit and Mary Otti are gone and TJ is back. This
show's so-called "resident football guru" (more like
phony) Mr. X-Citement declares the Seabags will make
the Super Bowl this year. "ATH"'s real resident
football guru WP says that his tie (which beats the
mess that Antonia is wearing) has been to more NFL
games than Mr. X-Citement - LOL! Genius has ATL and
its' newly installed West Coast offense playing in the
big game. First commercial and WP is making his move while being an H.O.F. voter.
Buy or Sell: WP sells Jack Nicholson as the popular
player on the PGA Tour saying fans prefer to see
paunchy John Daly. WP is always the #1 ranked player on
the "ATH" circuit. Genius says the fillies won't win
anything until they fire Larry Bowa. When will ESPN
wise up and finally fire Puke? Everybody sells on COO
King James' Bucs. Genius says that the Bucs seriously
lack an O-line. put wp.com down for a "bucs win it all" at 20-1. Vomit goes down just like sales of his
book are going to be.
Out of Bounds: Woody says the latest details on
Ko-bee may put him in an entirely different light in
court. kobe and ricky = this years clarett... Genius says that the
self-promoting Me-Shawn will likely wind up being
third string behind Cowchip and Teddy Long in Big D (classic sentence COO!)
Mr. X-Citement gets a huge birthday spanking. why does Mr. X back Kobe so adamantly???
Extreme Ratings Showdown: WP says Ricky Re-tardo
will have a better retirement than Smarty Jones (huh?)
- +1. Genius would prefer to read Puke's book than
Pamela Anderson's (again, huh?). Who cares? WP wins
big and declares his love for all WP.com ninjas
everywhere. furthermore, Genius repeatedly says "wp.com, wp.com, wp.com"
until his time runs out... wouldnt it have been fun to follow up on the "me-shawn"
self promotion angle to have that as a 15 seconds?!? whyaminotontheATHwritingstaff.com?
read Puke's book or, get SARS??? lets see... whens the next flight to China???
WP eliminated first yesterday in what was an over all boring show. jimmie johnson
looks dominant. pleasantly perfect will come back and CRUSH the field in the
pacific. i am heavily invested in the NYY's winning it all (pure investment sake)
but, i sure hope the CHC's don't make the playoffs... "growing up gotti" was an
absolute bust on A&E last night. the WI weekend was a great time - nothing like
10 hours a days (fri and sat) of brutal death metal (www.metalfest.com). have
you ninjas heard the Diplomats cut "certified gangstas"? it features the N.W.A.
beat from "boys in the hood". its about as crazy hot as Karolina Kurkova...
dont even ask me if i watched RAW... wrestling is in its "4th death" at the moment...
7/27/07 - whoever sold Antonia that tie must be laughing... (ATH)
WP and them...
ATH lost that experiment at the bottom of the screen nonsense. now, if we could
just lose Puke...
WP says that Ricky Retardo was critical to the Fish O. Mr. X-citement calls out
the H.O.F. voter as not knowing anything about football... thishasgonetofar.com.
why am i not in that square? this is beyond an insult at this point. Melo predicts
gold (Antonia's tie is pink) and WP notes that this US team wants to win. ATH
has 99 problems and Mr. X-citement is one. not hiring me as a writer is the 98 other
ones...
Mary mentions Kris Benson's wife's website as a perfect lead in/set up for a wp.com
mention! Antonia even helps in the process!!! here is comes!!! no it doesnt...
did WP buy Benson? i wont mention it. what did WP think about the Barbie twins (google
it ninjas!)? i wont mention it. WP assumes he was muted during his El Tigre
explaination - LOL. Marys gone and im considering that MLL Lacrosse as an option
over this acronym.
"if you drink bottles and bottles of vodka, no one would know your high", says WP
re: Ricky Martin Williams - LOL!!! when i drink bottles and bottles of vodka - i ummm...
i ummm.... i ummmm. well look-ee here. seems like Mr. X-citement is trying to
get more "TV time" by bickering with WP. is the lack of talent in BOS that bad?
at least they got Legal Seafood out there... best coach of the past 25 years?!?
whothehellcares.com! where is Cowchip to walk out on this topic??? WP is off
to handicap the opening day at Saratoga tomorrow.
whats next??? nothing but the WORST possible showdown matchup ever! i'd rather
get an STD than stay tuned...
7/26/01 - more "juice" than Jeter in NYC = WP (ATH)
inevitable Jeopardy! answer: WWP, Jr.
those to follow in Ricky Williams' footsteps (fingers crossed): Vomit (opening weekend at Del Mar? - YEAH!),
Meathead (at Arlington for Million preview weekend? - YEAH!), Cowchip (watched Loudon? - good chance)
Seriously, when will Katie Couric realize the obvious? her and
Woodrow Wilson Paige Jr. are meant to be. its a when not if ninjas...
Isn't that why WP relocated to NYC after all? he didnt do it for this acronym...
WP says that
Ricky Ricardo deserves to have a private life while
believing that Ricky will play football again.
Genius also believes the Georges will now be motivated
to acquire El Unit Grande con queso. First commercial and katie
knows WP is in town...
Buy or Sell: According to WP's sources, nachos bell grande pitched his last game in the
desert. according to WP.com's sources, we think Halle
Reali uses way too much teeth whitener. WP says HOU's
Kent St. deserved a longer suspension. How about ESPN
giving Mary Otti a lifetime suspension? Genius says
the Cubs need a shortstop, a closer, Ryne Sandberg,
Ernie Banks and Fergie Jenkins - (LOL jimmy...). Cowchip is sick of
hearing about the Cubs and wants to talk about
"Walker, Texas Ranger". Sayanora, Cowchip. interesting though... panelists
beginning to buy: patethictopics@ath.com hype started right herre!
Out of Bounds: Genius says that Sir Lance-a-Lot's
six straight Tour de French Revolution is a noted
accomplishment and says "Mary Otti couldn't drive his
car up those alps!" - LOL! WP says L.A. has the
smartest sports fans and says Chicago is a
fair-weathered town. actually, we have terrible weather year round... Mary blames Vomit for not
educating L.A. sports fans. agreed! i think... What exactly are we
expected to learn from Mary Otti anyway? nothing! i thing... WP is busy and so will
katie in a matter of moments.
LOVE that 3pt arial font for the ATH topics that debuted today (on the bottom of the screen)... now i have use for that
magnifying glass... great sports weekend. cars that turn left were back after a vacation. horses that
turn left had major races (del mar weekend opener - saratoga this wednesday). ricky
williams??? i wont lose sleep. NYY v BOS. cubs basically out of it ; ) arturo
gatti's fight is over in two rounds??? DEVESTATING k.o. punch to the body... but,
he wants Floyd Jr.??? i dont think there is a "current state of wrasslin'" to even
discuss. and im Tony Reali... "too much bleach on these pearly whites???"
7/22/01 - "two words - las vegas!", says WP (WWP is NYC)
proof that the south will rise again: WWP, Jr.
proof that anyone can be an ATH panelist: Vomit (does he even breath when he
speaks???), Merry Otti, Mr. Excitement (possibly 4th string overall from BOS -
Pierce, Ryan, Holley, Mr. Excitement, Jack Mac)
The official NL East expert (???) Puke sticks with his
March pick of the Fillies to win the division. WWP
Jr. reminds Vomit that he had Kobe to the Clippers!
Genius likes the Sheas to win and expresses his
dislike for Bowa - obviously an "un-named" richard. Mary is
actually calling for Woody to go back to Denver
already? "We don't care in New York what happens West
of the East River!" says WWP Jr. (WOW!) and says the Cubs are
the biggest disappointment. the Cubs and ATH's lack of TJ and Pierce. First commercial and WWP Jr. is the biggest
thing to hit NYC since King Kong!
Buy or Sell: WWP Jr. likes Fast Eddie George Jefferson to be a
perfect fit in Oak-town (him and the other 40+'s). Puke would be a perfect fit
in nobody's town. who did Vomit listen too in the car today, Lou Rawls? Genius says DET's Rashweed was the
key NBA acquisition because he won a title and won the
WP mob boss major loot (at +550 as a reminder...). WWP Jr. likes the Montreal-San
Juan nomads in Vegas: the fastest-growing city in the solar system (outside of those suburbs on Mars).
Puke says the Expos should go to Portland, Maine - sounds like a winner... Puke
is off to listen to his ABBA 8-track then to church.
Out of Bounds: "Only a big-eared clown like Antonia
would think that Lance is overrated!" says the king of
NY. Sir Lance-a-Lot is tearing up the Tour de French
Toast like that software nerd tearing up "Jeopardy!".
Genius says Johnny Damon will have the bigger movie
career than Tom Cruise. How much longer until WWP Jr. challenging
Bloomberg for NY mayor? WWP Jr. is off to Belmont Park.
many congrats to the real ninja "king" james' sister Kelli on her
recent engagement. judy greer played and made $5k for the American Diabetes Association tonight
on the Celebrity Poker Showdown. which is basically a showcase for bad poker
playing. how did i fall in love with this tour de french toast? i think its cuz
i have a lot of free time... some good day baseball today. where are the WI
ninjas at??? ill be in milwaukee the weekend of 7/30 and 31. let me know
where i should be: js@woodypaige.com
7/21/08 - Blackistone poking fun at Woody by wearing those glasses was
not particularly entertaining... (ATH)
memphis born, NYC to be with his home in Denver: WWP, Jr. gutter snipe: Vomit (who
drove into work while listening to Donna Summer - who would admit that?!?), Mary Otti, Teddy Long.
WP says the Cards will win 92 games (while displaying a Pujols
bobblehead doll). Genius also likes the Rangers to win
the AL West with Kenny Rogers and, whats his name??? "SAN FRANCISCO"
Cordero leading the pitching staff. "The Rangers are
this year's MARLINS!" declares WWP, Jr. First
commercial and WP increases his worldwide appeal during the mountains stage.
Buy or Sell: WP buys Love Shaq guaranteeing a
championship in South Beach. Genius says "Eli's
Coming!" to lead, his team, Big Blue into the playoffs and nobody
even cares about the Hanging Chads. Somebody please
sell Teddy Long's hideous glasses! and buy him some contacts...
WP agrees with Boz
Scaggs (a.k.a Billy Joel; a.k.a Vomit) that the Mets
will survive without the pizza man and WP has the
Sheas landing Randy Johnson! Mary Otti wants no part
of the WP Denver farewell party.
Out of Bounds: Genius says Delgado needs to respect
others and stand for "God Bless America" and takes on
Bishop Puke's offer to join him at Sunday services.
Vomit says Wacko Jacko is the weirdest public figure
(other than Kellerman). WP says George Dub-ya is more
newsworthy. WP says Jacko and his four kids can beat
the L.A. Clippers! - LOL!!! So long, Teddy Potter!
Showdown: WP says Beltre is responsible for the
O'Malleys success +1. Woodrow would rather kill
himself with a Krispy Kreme and die smiling. Puke does the right thing
and surrenders to WWP, Jr. Woodrow is the victor and leads by 3 minutes and 45 seconds.
WP gives a Letterman list of reasons for loving Colorado (#1: NO
MARY OTTI!!!, #2 - #10: woodypaige.com!!!)
hey Delgado... the next time im at a Felix Trindad fight, i hope you dont mind if
i sit out your national anthem. dont back down WP!!! american job, american money -
God Bless America! stage 16 of the Tour de French Fries was just awesome. lance passing
basso during a time trial - WOW! the cubs are done like the trees in the forest (?)
mcgriddles, nachos bell grande's, ho ho's and krispy kremes - you damn right WP...
lets go out smiling!!! now mention wp.com...
7/20/09 - The Carnivore Edition of ATH
Sullivans: WP. Mad Cows: J.A.A., Cowchip, Mary (who i am losing patience with....)
WP sells Ernie Banks' postseason chances and says Willie Mays will be the
wild card team. Any chance that Vomit has "swooned" off
this show permanently? Cowchip brags about picking the
Dodgers to break out in March (Cowchip also picked
Calgary to win the Stanley Cup). "I know you're just
trying to get on this show more often than once or
twice a week" says Genius to Cowchip - LOL!!! WP likes ATL's
comeback similar to Napoleon. First commercial and WP
is bringing the meat.
Buy or Sell: WP says the Redskins will be in the
playoffs with three words: Clinton, Portis, and
NASCAR. Genius likes the consistency of Bert and Ernie
on the PGA Tour. WP is consistently misunderstoof... Genius sells BOS's Frank Ona and says Dusty
Baker will lose his job at season's end. Did Vomit lose his "square"? Cowchip just
lost his "ATH" pole position and doesnt have a provisional.
Out of Bounds: WP says the biggest bust of all was
the XFL. J.A. says Ryan Leaf was a huge bust (along with Puke) and
Mary says Michael Jordan's baseball career was awful - NO?!? and
Genius says David Beckham is under intense scrutiny.
Mary is exposed as the mother of Michael Jacksons 4 new kids and leaves to tend to them...
Showdown: WP says Emmitt has more in the tank than
Eddie George John Jimmy Justin -1. Genius says Tags is the best
commissioner ever - even. WP likes the catch by the
big fat guy holding a beer (OF COURSE!!!!) and this show has
officially become a TOTAL BUST!
Antonia... you REALLY blew this showdown. how doesnt that one handed, beer handed,
catch not win? honestly, this is the first time im questioning a showdown decision
here. WP or not, that catch was the winning choice. your winning choice is an
order of no less than 5 wp.com t-shirts.
7/19/04 - no such website as maryotti.com!!! (aka, we UTILIZE our cialis!!!)
International Ninja Playboy: Woodrow. 40+'s that havent been kissed: J.A., Cowchip, Mary Otti
WP is not really interested in George Hamilton
winning the British Open (after all, Woodrow is easily ten
times tanner than George...). Genius says he would
rather see Tiger, Lions and Bears (oh my) competing in
tournaments. How about Mary Otti and Puke no longer competing
on "ATH"? WP says the Cubs will feast like "tangans"
and will win the NL Central by using NASCAR
terminology. "If you're trying to catch Jeff Gordon in
a Geo prism, it's not going to work." says NASCAR
expert Cowchip. a jeff gordon reference - great... First commercial and WP is young and
restless.
Buy or Sell: Woody buys Nell Carter to the Knicks
and offers up Frazier, DeBusschere, and King to Eddie
the eagle's town (what about Mary and Puke?). The King
of Rocky Top sells Little E competing in
extracurricular activities and offers the possibility
of Peyton playing a semi-pro game and ruining his
knee. Alan Trammell as manager of the year is discussed.
Whocaresabouttrammell.org. Mary says the Brewers
haven't made the playoffs since WP didn't have to take
Viagra. do i sense a little woodypaige.com envy?!? Genius reminds Mary that he takes Cialis and
has the opportunity to use it. WP wants no part in
discussing Trammell - whowould.edu? WP, on his own accord, leaves early.
did you ever want to jump through a TV and strangle someone?!? why wasnt the trade
WP to Chicago and Mary to NYC?!? finally, an alcohol sponsor! i've said all along...,
alcohol is critical ; ) Antonia showed his "stat girl" arm and didnt hit Genius
with an 8.5 x 11 at the end of the show. who wants to talk about alan trammell anyhow?
wasteoftime@the7/19ath.com. more WSOP on ESPN!!! congrats to dedicated ninja Brian on his
engagement to the lovely Christen. best of luck you too! "king" ninja james couldnt
be happier that J.A finally did something worthwhile and mentioned the Ray's
LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. check out this ninjas site:
www.krappitykrap.tripod.com.
get over to the message board ninjas and peep the "pictures" thread in the First
Word forum. ninjas are sending in .jpegs and there is a contest going to be a
free wp.com shirt. are those really pictures of yours truly??? represent your
WP sleeper cell!!!
7/15/04 - The "who needs pants?" edition (ATH)
Wearing boxers: Woodrow Wilson Paige Jr. Wearing
briefs: Vomit, Cowchip, Mary Otti
WP says Kobe made a mistake by staying in Puke country...,
and should've gone to the Yankee Clippers where he would be
surrounded by great players. As for Genius' surrounding ATH cast...,
end of the bench players. Puke says Latino Heat will be much improved with
Shack and will be better than Kobe and the Puke's. Genius says
Jan Van Brensa Gundy will work the ball into Shaq. First commercial and WP looks
calm, collected and, as usual - cool as the other side of ATHg's pillow...
Buy or Sell: WP sells Bert and Ernie winning the
British Open and says el Tigre would've won the 1997
open if he didn't have three double-bogeys - right! WP buys
the Cubs to have a breakout 2nd half and will acquire
Know-mar. WP.com buys the Cubs having a breakdown 2nd
half... Vomit likes USC going undefeated while Genius,
after looking at his watch (a digital, Audemars Piguet, clock), says
Jawga and their great home schedule will be national
champs. Vomit gone just like Ditka for the U.S.
Senate.
Out of Bounds: Woody says that Jim Thorpe had a
worse fall than Robert Duvall for having his gold
medals taken away unfairly. When will Mary Otti and
Vomit be permanently taken away fairly? Genius says a
great TV show requires great actors and good writing (i.e., Reno 911! and Iron Chef),
("difficult for some people on this panel to
understand" - LOL!). WP adds that TV shows don't need
nudity, cursing, or violence(?) WP is smacked down and
the ratings are dead. The head WP ninja returns from
two days in Detroit and this is how the first "ATH"
back goes?
thanks for having my back while away on top secret ninja business "real" king james.
happy late 39th to your grandma as well. she is obviously proud to have a high
ranking ninja nephew. now look, i may just need to ask jimmy how long its been
since we've seen the brown pinstripe... ninjas, take it upon yourself to let
Genius know that we love'em in pinstripes. that outfit is "code" for ninja love.
this splinter cell: pandora tomorrow has taken over my life! outside of being
poolside and working on my tan and outside of consuming mcgriddles. on that note,
my baby sister just celebrated her 26th while seeing Madonna in concert in chicago...
lovez you bot! if you dont know it, my AOL IM is: wpwebsite. hit me up ninjas!
P4L!
7/12/04 - All time win % show (aka, disco demolition)
The only equal value for Shaq: WP. free agent camp: Vomit, Mary, Boring
fw. Shaq for Clarett? "Mary Otti is a big ASSet", says Genius - lol. WP does not
like the return the Buss' will get for Shack. WP adds "we get to watch the LA demise"...
did he mean the lakers or Puke? wheres Kobe going? "i want to talk baseball", says
WP - LOL. first commercial and WP looks marvelous. WP is gunna bring some class
to NYC.
b or s. WP buys L Duke A as the NYY 5th starter based on his "arm angles" - haha.
buy three hours a day at the pool... WP sells Mike Schmidt as the best SP in football and
opts for Clarence Clemens. buy Tony Stewart going on a top 5 finish streak. WP
straightens out peeps, being solution orientated of course, and sells the 7up, Pepsi,
Viagra Extreme Slam Dunk Derby tonight. buy Boring.
oob. that Vomit column on Olympic Trials trues too hard. areukiddinme.com who
writes/talks like that anyway? WP is disgusted and depressed concluding with, "who
needs track and field anyway"? - AMEN! WP says Jordan to the Dolphins is not important.
eating McGriddles to cure depression is though... get outta here Vomit and take
that column with you!
Iron Chef Texas Hold'em Karolina Kurkova Most Extreme Showdown... WP takes a chance
on Malone over Payton +1. WP rep's the south and backs nascar - sweep. music to
ninjas ears as WP raves about wp.com and the WP ninja militia message board.
shouts to the Pal Zileri ninjas in the Venetian Grand Canal Shoppes. can you bet on
the HR derby? im almost done with Pandora Tomorrow... no less than 5/6 hours a day
for 5 days straight. kiss my retina's goodbye. cheers to our head WP ninja in the
UK - graham clews. outside of dedicating his life to WP, he is also a very accomplished
musician. check him out at: grahamclews.com. speaking of music and everybodys
favorite music genre - death metal. any ninjas gunna be in milwaukee for metalfest
on 7/30 and 31? there is a bunch of us coming up from chicago. if you want to
link up - holla at me. jimmy, please "crunch" those win % numbers... until me and you
are on the ATH staff, i trust nobody...
7/7/04 - The Groucho Mariotti episode (ATH)
Pennant winner: Woodrow Paige. Trade bait: Vomit Cong, Mary Otti, Monotone Boredome
WP breaks out the legendary orange board (with "Cubs
Suck-cess" written at the top) and says the Cards
will hold on in the NL Central. Mary Otti immediately
calls Woody the ultimate "flip-flopper" (alright already with this term) for giving up
on the Cubs. Puke says the fillies are the "eyebrows"
of the NL. Genius says Love Shaq won't play for Rudy
T. in LA LA and wants to play for a team that doesn't
have Walter Payton, Sam Malone or Bill Walton. First
commercial and WP is a HOF voter.
Buy or Sell: WP buys the Ay's Zito making a comeback
after losing his pitching coach and getting a new
catcher. When will ATH consider losing Vomit and Mr.
Unabrow and never giving them a "comeback"? "Did you hire your own Stat Boy?" Genius asks
Antonia (well, a cue card boy) and says the McNuggets are an up-and-coming
team in the West with major backing by Charisma. WP
sells George and "Wie-sy" playing in the men's U.S.
Open. Mary goes off searching for Hawks. how about
that elimination line by Halle Reali? - HE GONE!
Out of Bounds: WP says that the Duke student
convincing Special K to stay was the most heartwarming
tale since "Miracle on 34th Street". Puke and Charisma
are not really amused - askmeificare.com. Genius says ALF looks like a
shag carpet and says McEnroe's new talk show will be a
better success - this may be the worst topic ever... Puke says Lamb Chop was a better
puppet than ALF. now if that isnt just the icing on a Vomit cake - LAMBCHOP?!? WP is gone and Halle Reali must be
out of orbit if he expects us to stick around....
the return of the white board. WSOP and stud on ESPN last night. in two words:
awesome. now tuesdays have some remote relevance. well ninjas, im starting up
splinter cell: pandora tomorrow. if any of ya'll have got down or are getting
down - let me know.
6/30/04 - The "laptop" Barbie episode (ATH)
Top sprinter: Woodrow Paige. Drafting help: Puke, Unabrow, Charisma
"just cuz someone shows up everyday, unabrow, it doesnt
make it special" - LOL!!!!
Charisma brings up "I, Maximus No Ratingsus" to start the
show. something about his outfit being top notch? delusional.com. hey, Charisma - you ever notice the ninja from denver
who is valued at $3k from head to toe on the daily? WP says DiMaggio's hitting streak was the
greatest achievement in sports and declare's Eric
GAG-ME's saves streak will be broken. Mary Otti says
Ripken's consecutive games streak was special. "just
cuz someone shows up everyday, unabrow, it doesnt make
it special" - LOL!!!! when does Puke non-appearance on ATH streak begin? Puke says LA LA's Kobe
will jump to the Clippers. "The Clippers haven't made
the playoffs since Plaschke had HAIR!" yells Mr.
Unabrow. "We don't sit here and talk about your
EYEBROWS!" says Genius defending Vomit - instant EXPN classic. Woody says
Kobe will stay with the Lakers instead of joining
Puke's buddy Donald Sterling. First commercial and WP
is going all in.
Buy or Sell: WP sells Okafor in the NBA summer
league because it's only a tryout for guys who won't
make the NBA. Isn't it about time for Puke to rejoin
the "ATH" developmental league? - LOL (that was all title town tampaninjajiames). After "careful
research and deliberation (at Club Paradise in Vegas)" Genius says the NL East -
not the NL Central - is the toughest division in
baseball. "Go get another WIG!" yells Mary Otti. Hey
Unabrow, isn't it about time for you to go
HAWK-hunting? Charisma says the race between the Devil
Rays and Red Sox for 2nd place is interesting. WP says
Beltran - formerly of KC and the Sunshine Band - is
worthy of an MLB All-Star selection. Puke is
eliminated and unlike GAG-ME gets no standing ovation. On that note, i dont think anyone will notice he's gone...
Out of Bounds: WP is in favor of more
African-American drivers in NASCAR and Rev. Tito
Jackson was merely having fun. so far magic johnson is having a MAJOR impact pulleezzee. Genius argues that
Maibu Barbie is the best "action figure" of all-time. Sadly, no
more action for WP the rest of this show. Anybody wanna talk about all-star snubs?
well ninjas, im back from Vegas and, in a word - not happy. im telling you
that Vegas is the best country in the world. i was fortunate enough to meet
and speak with Tomer Benvenisti (2003 WSOP final table player) at bellagio.
no need to even ask, he is obviously a WP fan - super cool ninja. speaking of poker,
3:30 hours/minutes until 2004 WSOP delayed coverage is shown on ESPN. GREECE! congrats
on euro 2004 victory! cannot say im happy with the pepsi 400 outcome but, im
glad they made it happen on saturday night. i love superspeedways and bristol at
night. anybody hiring in vegas???
6/30/04 - I tuned in for some Worlds Strongest Ninjas... (ATH)
and ESPN has the nerve to show an ATH episode without WP... what about those
idiots lifting 8 ton rocks and stuff. pulling redwood trees with there teeth.
bursting spleens while lifting trucks. thats quality entertainment...
what am i supposed to do with Vomit, a facial hair less Cowchip, Mary Oddly
and that other useless guy? you want me to write something clever about that?
well, here goes... why did the bird fly upside down over the 6/30 taping of
ATH? because there wasnt anything worth crapping on!!!
holla at the WP Ninja Mobb Boss! alright ninjas, the Venetian will be home base
for me over the next 4 days... send all fax's and direct all calls to: WP Ninja
Mobb Boss. thats what ill be checked in under and thats how you can reach me. outside of that,
check out, primarily, the mirage and bellagio card rooms. the pool at the venetian.
olympic gardens for lunch. and, club paradise after 3am. those are you best
bets if your looking to "stalk me". i land tomorrow at 12:15pm... i suggest
that henderson county increase all foot patrols...
6/29/04 - The post b-day cake episode (ATH)
WP (with an impeccable gangsta ninja tie), Mary Oddly, Vomit, and Cowchip (all
who seem to be Target tie shoppers...)
Epstein, Epstien, Epsteen - "whatever you want Mary", says WP who doesnt think
the Epstean v. Cashman series is that critical. WOW! end of topic one and Puke
has a negative score! LOL. itsabouttime.com. nobody talks through a mute
better than WP and Genius knows the HOU McGradys can win it all.
first commercial and im that much closer to my vegas vacation... will i see
Puke at the Olympic Gardens lunch buffett?!? ; )
b or s. Tim Robbins wished he had Woodrow looks and staying power... Genius
sells the NFL cycle. ill be buying chips in vegas in less than 48 hours.
what? something about the Longhorns after the CWS and WP goes off topic and
buys CSF - ya damn RIGHT! WP sells Sox v. Olsen Twins and buys Cubs v. Strohs.
Cowchip is Longhorn gone but seems confused as he states, "the show just died".
are they casting a male from Texas for Clueless II???
"maybe i lead an unfulfilling life", says Puke in the understatementoftheyear.com.
WP is "addicted" to poker and references Lederer and Benes - awesome! ill be
playing primarily at Bellagio and Mirage - 20/40 ninjas... thats how the boss rolls.
WP says "field of dreams" is the best sports movie ever. no argument here. see you
at the tables Puke...
showdown rating most extreme bonanza!
WP takes tampa ninja king james' Rays over the Rangers +1. WP references Barbies
new beau Blake's "package" - LOL! of course its a sweep ninjas. WP is ATH. 15
seconds are of course spent talking about how frequenting this site helps re-grow
hair.
6/28/04 - beauty is not wasted on the young... happy late 39th WP! (ATH)
Celebrating life at age 39: Woody Paige. Barely living:
J.A. (Just Average), Cowchip, Mary Otti.
Both Woody and Mary like the White Sox in the AL
Central. WP says the White Sox will win if they can
improve their road record. As for Cowchip, his pick of
MIN in the World Series will happen just like Calgary
winning the Stanley Cup... and the wp.com bet of adam scott at 55/1 in the US Open was a week late! Genius says the Georges
aren't invincible and likes BOS to rebound. first commerical and, again, WP
is 39 years tan - not 70, not 75 but, 39!!!
Buy or Sell: WP displays one of his birthday gifts -
Mary Otti's Viagra - LOL! OMG! Woody says Vick's Vapo Rub
as drop-back QB is "bullfinch" and points out Vick
will run often. on that note, wherever Puke ran too - keep running... Will he ever not come
back? Genius says Bzdelik will be McNuggets coach next
year but will be fired if team slumps and mentions
Karl Marx as a replacement. WP sells ATHg's Cards but
they need to bring in Shawn Estes. Mary Otti goes down
just like the Cubs this past weekend after being up 1-0.
Out of Bounds: WP says Tyson will clear his debt
with the IRS with the money he gets from Don King,
from fighting "tomato cans" and eventually from
fighting a worthy contender (and then will invest in wp.com shirts). Woody says all this while
Halle Reali drops his point total from 11 to 4.
patheticscoring@ath.com. In the end, says Genius,
Tyson will be the most devastating boxer. WP says
Michelle Wie has no pressure having already competed
against men. Day after his birthday and Woody gets
"spanked" off the show. beyondpathetic.org.
sorry i missed last friday ninjas... i know WP got booted first though.
wow! the adam scott to win pick was a week late and still about 50/1 short ; (
now listen, im going to be in vegas from 7/1 - 7/5 so, you know the drill... get
over to the board if your interested in posting a write-up. the COO of the the most
peace loving and ruthless militia on the net, the WP ninjas, will be co-ordinating
activities. any ninjas living in or going to be in vegas over the weekend??? holla
at the boss - js@woodypaige.com
6/23/04 - "it was a bold man who ate the first oyster" episode (ATH)
Consensus first pick in the draft: Woodrow Paige. Undrafted and returning to high school
players: Mary Otti, Cowchip, Chrisma.
WP says ORL should draft (and did draft) high
schooler Dwight Howard who according to Genius is the
next Garnett and gives ORL the opportunity to regroup.
Ninjatampajimmy begs to differ.
Woody calls Mary "Bela Lugosi" - LOL and says Shaq will get
the Cubans to the Finals. First commercial and the
People's Champ is merely warming up. brown pinstripe tomorrow???
Buy or Sell: WP sells Thome as NL MVP (hitting .190
with runners in scoring position) offering up STL's
Pujols. Mary Otti and Charisma bat .000 with nobody in
scoring position. WP says MIN won't win the AL Central
because of their lousy record vs. winning teams (5-9).
Cowchip says he has the Twins in the World Series. Hey
Cowchip, how about those Stanley Cup champion Calgary
Flames? Woody buys Pat Riley's denial of LA LA. "There
are exciting job offers but you wouldn't know about
that!" says WP to Mary - RIGHT! Charisma is withdrawn from
this panel. something about, "why you hate'n on me"...
Out of Bounds: WP says Tiger, like himself, is still
popular with ninjas. Genius says El Tigre
needs to go back to hitting the fairway. Not only is
WP a Hall of Fame voter but he was also was the best "Jeopardy!"
participant ever. They don't call him "Genius" because he
looks, dresses and acts like one. This announcement, Mary Otti
has been traded to Split Croatia for no future considerations.
Showdown: Woody says Griffey is Cincy's big surprise
- +1. WP doesn't trust Rick "the Gambler" Neuheisel.
VICTORY!!! back to back! tomorrow is the 3-peat!
here comes 15 seconds of verbal genius... whatinthebluehell.com!
why is Cowchip talking?!? call the police, FBI, CIA, NAACP and the WWE -
wewasrobbed.com!
WP as a jeopardy contestant! OMG! if anyone has this gem on tape... im going
straight to the top to see if i can get a copy of that (if one exists). if i get
one, can you imagine the ebay value?!? "woody paige knows everything", says Antonia.
its about time Reali's Secret gotta glass of obvious juice.
6/23/04 - ATH
Covering Wimbledon via Denver: Woody Paige. Likely early American upsets: J.A.A., Cowchip, Mary Otti.
WP suggests that Love Shaq gets dealt to his hometown in Memphis because GM Adam West is
creative. How about "ATH" dealing Vomit, Teddy Long and Mary Otti for a
triumphant return of TJ? The pride of Tennessee says
any NBA team will be favorites with Shaq. WP also
supports T-Mac to the Indy 500. "You don't think
McGrady can't get them four points a game?" asks
Genius. Woody overall would take Shaq over T-Mac.
First commercial and Genius stands and walks tall.
Buy or Sell: WP says the sooner Walter Payton leaves
LA LA, the better. Can Payton take Puke with him while
he's at it? Mary compares WP to Payton - WHOA! Woody
says the NYY's Jose Canseco can't throw a fastball.
WP's fastball has been clocked at 130 mph. "Can you make Adande
sing more and Mary Otti talk less?" offers Cowchip. Genius
sends some love to ninjatampajimmy's D-Rays and their
good young talent. Mary Otti flip-flops on outta here.
Out of Bounds: WP says the current Olympic Dream
Teamers will beat the ones staying home and has them
winning gold "going away!" WP is undoubtedly the
People's champ! Woody prefers the James Bond theme
(playing out of his own wireless phone - nice!) as the best
movie theme of all time. Cowchip is shaken and stirred
off the panel.
Showdown (a.k.a. Payback): WP says the White Sox win
over the Cubs - -1. Genius takes Knowmar at shortstop -
even. WP says Janet's boob was more disturbing than Vomit on ATH -
satisfying victory!
6/22/04 & 6/23/04 - These five things I know are true... (ATH)
* we should get a rebate for time wasted watching monday and tuesdays shows...
* i cannot seem to shake this summer cold... even after the doctor told me
not to drink fluids and soley eat mcgriddles.
* Mary Otti is outta her mind - "Paige does not equal ratings". thats about as
factual as Puke buying a round of lap dances...
* Fordham University sure must be embarassed...
* "i cannot believe i won", "i dont know what too say"... OMG!!! WP!
how can you not reference wp.com, the ninjas, mcgriddles, etc...?
the 6/23 write up will follow...
6/21/04 - If you budgeted 15 minutes of viewing today, you came out ok... (ATH)
the playing conditions at Shineycock were unfair?!?
Fairest Panelist (aka, the only panelist to daily shoot underpar): Woody Paige. Unfair: Puke, Mary Otti, Charisma.
Woody says that the field at the U.S. Open on Sunday
was unfair. kinda like submitting ninjas to Vomit appearances on "ATH".
btw, what was with the need of the "double Puke salute" Antonia? that salute
us about as original as the color of your teeth.
Woody adds that Mickelson choked at the end. "With Kobe and without Shaq and Phil, you've got
the Orlando Magic!" explains Genius who says LA LA's
Magic Buss should've fired his daughter - right! First commercial
and the People's champ does not appear happy.
Buy or Sell: WP actually gets Puke's back and has
Griffey 8th on the all-time centerfielder's list "Cool
Papa Bell was the greatest centerfielder of all-time!"
says Genius - right! Vomit ranks a solid 139th "ATH"'s all-time panelists list. Woody backs
ninjatampajimmy's guy Pinella as AL Manager of the
Year. "Don't you find it amazing that every time you
ask Mary Otti a question, his brain doesn't come on
for a second or two?" WP asks Antonia.
Woody likes the idea of Love Shaq and T-Mac in Castro's Cuban
country. WP gets eliminated and viewership drops like
flies. Unfair indeed!
Go Devil Rays!!!! the rock on RAW! from MIA. scarface on TMC tonight. dale jr. wearing
an FSU hat on the recent nascar 360. hot blondes in daytona beach. FL WP ninja
militia multiplying. lots of FL happening...
6/16/04 - The Denver omlette episode (ATH)
Key ingredient: Woody Paige. Filler: a little denver, a dash of chicago, a smidge of dallas
WP says DET is a great TEAM and will go down as a great TEAM. i will go down
as Genius Jr. while collecting at +550 - hold your applause. WP, who is "solutions
orientated", says the LAL's will still be an elite team. possibly, with bringing
Pat Riley back around...
b or s. "Billups beat Payton like a rented mule", says WP and has no issue with
the ex-Buff being MVP. i beat a rented mule while on the Greek island of Santorini...
WP buys Le Tigre winning the US Open. at 9/2, wp.com is looking for better
value elsewhere... outrights were posted in yesterdays write up. Genius says
the NYY's will make a move. just like the filler from DEN just did...
Antonia just nailed WP's square with a crumpled 8.5 x 11!!! alright ninjas, i
apologize in advance but, that was funny. ok, fun time is over!!! im scrambling
the whole B2 WP ninja fighter arsenal to head towards Atlantic Video! Antonia...,
dont press me to utilize nannotechnology.
oob. WP falls asleep as the DAL filler references the NHL while discussing NBA
ratings - zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Genius references David v. Goliath and Napolean on thi
topic - LOL. WP backs Britney and mentions the track "boom boom" off the "in the zone" CD - LOL.
the CHI filler has no part in this omlette.
showdown redemption time (yesterday was a slap in the face of the WP ninja militia...).
WP calls the DAL filler "chicken fried steak"! -1. WP says its Urethra with her
rendition - square. WP backs the mcgriddle eating contest as a worthy event - of course! Decisive
Victory!
6/15/04 - WP is cooler than the other side of the pillow (ATH)
Star of the show: Woody Paige. Bit parts: Cowchip, Mary Otti, Jack Mac (the friendly ghost)
"i guarantee that i will win the show today", says WP and also guarantees a LAL
victory tonight. does Jack Mac bathe in baby powder?!? getyourtanon.com! btw,
WP is looking very "big blue" today. WP talked to Bob Night and knows he aint
leaving Labuck. WP also has a direct line to Batman and the President!
first commercial and i am totally enjoying this nutritional chef-boy-ar-dee "chili cheese
dog twistaroni"...
b or s. WP like the Couch move and says Wisconsin ninjas will help revive his career.
sell that tiki idol around Jacks neck. WP buys Duval in the US Open, since he
lives in Denver - good enbough for wp.com... WP buys Tyson the "train wreck" and
believes others will too. sell Jacks "time of the month" anti-tyson tirade.
extra-strength midol on the BOS set!!! cowchip is off to Lone Star Park.
oob. WP loves NY and looks at George S. as being "beloved". kinda like how ATH
viewers look at Genius... Woodrow does not see tennis rebounding to any glory
days past. well, i like ping pong if that matters... se ya jay jay the jet plane.
showdown. on paper, this is the biggest mismatch ever... shouldnt even be close.
in other words, proceed with caution. WP takes Thome over Bernie for future
MLB H.O.F. -1 (doomed when given Thome by default). WP takes the STL's to win
NL central over the Ay's in the AL west - square. Jack opts for a urinal and
emerges victorious. likethatshowdownmakessense.com.
cmon DET!!!! Cink at 66-1 to win the US Open. also consider Scott at 50-1 and longshot
Westwood at 225-1. the "new" WP shirts will have "are you a ninja?" in italics,
on the back of the shirt, below WP's mug. i hope to have .jpegs of the shirt
on the merchandise link soon. i gotta start prepping for tonights game... hope
i got enough milk in the fridge ; )
6/14/04 - Woodrow is the "big" ninja (ATH)
New York's finest: Woody Paige. Not-so-fine: Cowchip, Mary Otti, Squiggy.
Woody holds Lakers GM Mitch Cup-Chack responsible
for bringing in Walter Payton and Sam Malone and
turning LA LA into a bunch of garbage. Speaking of
garbage, who on earth brought back that pipsqueak from
"Page 2"? WP calls the pipsqueak a "Mike Lupica"
wannabe and says Brown and Rashweed are key to DET's
success. wp.com is the key to your financial success with DET +550. First commercial and Genius is tied with Mary
atop the leaderboard.
Buy or Sell: Woody says Cincy's Huggy Bear should go
into rehab. WP.com sorely misses Huggy Bear Holley.
Genius sides with "Mr. Peepers" (a.k.a. Squiggy) in
choosing Prior over Rocket. WP buys Schilling as BOS's
most important pitcher. wp.com buy WP as ATH's cy young winner. Squiggy goes out just
like the Lakers.
Out of Bounds: Woody says the only place where Sir
Lance-a-Lot might be tainted is in France next month.
WP.com wonders if this new disemboweled voice is
tainted as well. Genius says Tiger has matured and
will win the U.S. Open chess tourney this week. wp.com sleeper pick: Cink. Mary
falsely states Woody's age as 60 (WP actually turns 39 this year...). Adios, Mary!
Showdown: WP would prefer Griffey's 500th HR over
any HR Richard Bonds hits - -1. Genius declares Janet
Jackson's boob as the "Richard" of the year - all
square. Woody says Apple is a worse name than
Coco?!?! whatkindoftopicwasthat.com?!? pathetic...
6/11/04 - Woodrow is so cool he sweats ice water while poolside at Bellagio (ATH)
Grade I pedigree: WP. Claimers: Mary Otti, Cowchip, Jackie Mason.
Genius says a buncha stuff about a buncha stuff and concludes by saying that the
LAL's aren't KO's yet. why does this Sweathog Host have to try and get all
"urban" on us??? WP says Love Shack's skills are diminished (like Puke's) and
calls Mary "mariucci" in the process. on that note, a round of applause for
Mary's eyebrows being properly waxed...
b or s. WP buys Shockey as being overrated. wp.com hopes Zach Gowen sells those
goofy rings he's sportin'. Genius sells Weekend at Bernie as being a future
MLB HOF'er. wp.com sells the current state of wrasslin'. WP sells L.A. Law and
buys the Champ as being the best NFL CB.
well..., back to watching qualifying at Pocono. kasey kahne is unreal. i hope he
gets the win this weekend. the 'Lou's own rusty wallace went 228 mph at talledega - UNREAL. im in Vegas over the 7/4 weekend so, if any ninjas
are gunna be out there, send me a mail. Euro 2004 is about to start. my heart
says Italia at 19/4 but, watch out for Holland at 9/1 as well. DET throws another
chinese star this sunday at -1.5. who leads the wp.com fantasy baseball league???
holla at'a ninja! P4L!
6/10/04 - "I, Wish I was Woody Paige" (ATH)
$700 hair cut and style: Woody Paige. Cost Cutters: Meathead, Cowchip, Bor(in)ges.
alright ninjas, i missed the first word so, we're going straight to B.S....
b or s. WP sells Couch as a bust and states a change of venue is all that needed.
wp.com sure knows how to dent a couch... Genius buys the NYY staff and isnt
concerned saying that George will buy whomever is necessary. like a buyout of
Puke's contract with ATH? now thats necessary... WP brings up Roush racing then says
NYY v. BOS is the greatest rivalry. hold your breath and get your kleenex... "the
Paige Ninjas" know that Vlad is the Angels MVP says WP - much love Genius!!! and
we're in the lead. bye Bor(in)ges
oob. Genius is not happy with the BCS, ACLU, FIFA, and UEFA. on that note, as a
reminder, WP is a H.O.F. voter... WP is in opposition to Kimmel getting a spankin'
re: the DET comment. buy Cowchip
showdown. "intelligently" looking at this..., WP says LAL's Fisher is the key +1.
WP sweeps with a De La Hoya outta nowhere offering to carry the Olympia Dukakis
torch in LA - brilliant!
i dont know what the 15 seconds was about but, ninjas, cmon... when Genius recognizes
the militia on the worldwide leader in sports, you just gotta have that "fuzzy"
feeling. i know this much, WP would appreciate you taking another look at the
listed charities under "links". if you can do something, do something... if not,
keep them in mind. ninjas..., we all we got! "Late Night with Genius", "Last Call
with Woodrow", "The Tonight Show featuring Paige" - its not an if, its when. P4L
6/9/04 - Woodrow is so cool, he wears mink in the summer... (ATH)
Gillette young gun host - NOT! WP breaks out a Parrott to state the obvious, "
Mary Otti is a jabroni" - LOL! instant prop classic...
Genius, Mary Otti, Vomit, Grass Grow
WP offers DET in five and knows the LAL's are falling apart. who gave you DET
+550 in the series?!? "take control zach!", says WP as the worthless panelists
rant and rave out of turn and suffer no mutes. WP knows Sobe is immature and
reminds the Beach Comber he has no business hosting this show... obviously...,
I SHOULD BE!
b or s. WP says the Super Bowl is the best story of the year and sells Clemens.
WP buys Vicks Vapo Rub as the best QB in the NFL. whats with the constant knocking
of Genius at 39 years young??? the Pride of Tennessee boldly states, "Knight
has as much a chance of going to OSU as Zach does hosting next week" - OMG! i
think i wet my pants... late breaking news: WP is ATH! WP buys Pedro and
Charisma is done like Karl Malones NBA career.
oob. WP offers that Byrd isnt making a bit of sense with the "NBA needs more
whites" comment. Genius buys the Sopranos and the season finale. Also adding
that the writing is good (???). WP leaves with a "bada bing".
i believe today was the first day that Bill Wolff's voice was eliminated from
segment intro's. i guess it was inevitable but, im still upset that Bill isnt
"around"...
6/8/04 - Beach comber hosting debut (WP is ATH)
did Halle Reali have an important teeth cleaning appointment he couldnt cancel?
Conn Smythe Winner: Woody Paige in pinstripes. Canucks: Vomit, "Mold Pizza" Mary, Charisma.
Woody says that DAL's Tuna should be suspended for
two practices, a meal and a dessert. How come nobody has suspended Puke?
Genius says the Lakers don't need distractions and
need to beat DET tonight. Genius is in second at the
first commercial.
B(en) or S(haq): Woody says the NHL needs to market better
than Arena Football. The Jim Morrison says the NHL needs
naked women playing to survive (ok, not bad...). Genius says the Sox
need the Unit and not Nomar. WP.com thinks "ATH"
really doesn't need Puke. Genius says Eli will be the
Giants' starting QB from day won and gives major props
to his buddy Jesse "the Bachelor" Palmer. Vomit leaves
to get his seat, in the kids lounge, at Staples.
Out of Bounds: Genius favors Jordan owning an NBA
team in Vegas. wp.com favors anything in vegas. The hippie says putting Jordan in Vegas
is like putting Robert Downey Jr. in Afghanistan (ok, not good).
Woody says Tiger should be among the Top three
athletes over Gretzky. WP makes up "ATH"'s #1,2 and 3
favorite panelists ever! The hippie suddenly makes a
fatal rookie mistake - eliminating Genius causing
ratings to plummet and his career is immediately in jeopardy...
im going back to the pool. very tan is very in.
P4L!
6/7/04 - Hawaiian Tropic Tan via Florida (He's back....)
Tanner than George Hamilton: Woody Paige. Tanless wonders: J.A.,
Cowchip, Mary Otti
Woody says the Pistons have a small but not too
realistic shot vs. the Lakers and the Finals will go
seven games. Genius also gives Cincy a chance at the
NL Central (after getting thousands of letters from
Cincinnati) (wp.com sends mcdonalds thousands of thank you letters for the mcgriddle)
but the Reds have only one quality
starter, three good hitters and Johnny Bench will be
injured. First commercial break and Genius is
Birdstone to everybody else's Smarty Jones.
B(olts) or (Flame)s (btw, only three Buy or Sell
topics): Woody sells Stuart Little (a "two-tier
jockey" according to Genius) costing Smarty Jones the
Triple Crown. Woody says the Steelers' Greg Maddux
"can't play dead" at QB and won't start this year - LOL!
Woody says Calgary got robbed (while bringing his
visual aid - a mini-Stanley Cup)and says Tampa Bay
will win tonight to ninjatampajimmy's delight. Cowchip
sticks with his Calgary pick. J.A. gets the boot for
making fun at Antonia's ugly tie. wp.com is considering sending him a shirt for that comment...
Out of Bounds: Woody supports interleague play and
reminisces about growing up with the Cardinals and
tiring of the same NL opponents (like Mary's Cubs -
LOL!). Cowchip bashes interleague play saying it's
only good for two reasons: Yankees-Mets and Cubs-White
Sox. Cowchip is only good for a "guest"FAQ. Mary and Cowchip are tired of J-Low - abouttime.com! Woody says
that because J-Low is a Catholic she can't have sex so
she gets married and saves himself by admitting that
he missed the ninjas and "ATH" - WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Mary is done like
Smarty Pant's Triple Crown hopes.
Showdown: Woody says that Tiger will win the U.S.
Open Ping Pong Masters Chess Bonanza - +1. Woody supports Carmelo for the Olympic
team - even. Woody says STLs Pujols will be the HR
king and returns to "ATH" victoriously. Genius uses 15
seconds mourning the loss of Ronald Reagan.
well, the season finale of sopranos was a bust in my opinion... but, the return
of Genius was a triumphant success! the sponsors couldnt be happier and are considering
long term commitments. WP is worth "friends" episode money. Mary Otti is worth-less.
next "guest"FAQ?!?!?!? mad speculation... ATHg, justin, ninja jimmy, snoop dogg,
my sister, pensfan, cannibal corpse, king kong bundy, the head basketball coach at fordham,
steve spurrier, spongebob - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. let the rumor begin... for those patiently
waiting, shirts are being shipped mid week. first shirts ever going to australia!
the WP Ninja Militia is officially down under and ready to plunder!
P4L!
6/5/04 - Weekend (anticipated 6/7 return of Genius)
Wow! we gotz a weekend full of activity. if its sunny and the sky's are
clear in your area of this WP world, just draw the blinds... you know your in front
of the TV all weekend...
TNA and qualifying on friday. weekend: belmont, stanley cup, NBA finals, monster
mile racing, hopkins v. de la hoya qualifying. now, if you ninjas remember last year,
i stone cold nailed the belmont trifecta. this year, i'd like to avoid putting
smarty anywhere on top. there's just no money in it. on that note, there's
really not money too be made on the belmont based on the price this horse will
go of at. the money is in the exotics. more money is in the exotics if smart
does w, p or s. with that being understood, Rock Hard Ten to win - period.
speaking of money; if it dont make money, it dont make sense. i said it in
the message board with the Easten series tied and going back to IND - DET wins the
finals. DET +550 it is. i truly believe its worth a shot...
hope everyone is enjoying the new "guest"FAQ's. id like to be more "frequent"
with those. they are a bunch of fun. we went over 300 registered WP ninjas
on the board! if you aint one of the 300, you better re-consider your existence...
kare, thanks so much for the site help... also, for those that want to interview me (in
text, over the phone) for whatever media - contact me at: js@woodypaige.com. please
put the word "interview" in the subject line. please understand that i get a good amount
of mail a day and dont want your request "slipping through the cracks". similarly,
if your looking for a me and/or WP interview - same process...
enjoy your weekend ninjas! P4L!
6/1/04 - The four things I know are true... (ATH)
ATH without WP is CRAP
The return of Vomit means nothing to ratings
Michael Smith is about as entertaining as getting 3rd degree burns
Antonias teeth are whiter than his shirt
Can we trade Mary Otti for Huggy? Alright, we'll throw in Jack Mac
ATH without WP is CRAP
well ninjas, i hope your holiday weekend was a good one. i owe you some answers
and im posing the questions already. we need a WP whereabouts response! this
has reach a DEFCON 1 level. the message board is a meltdown with speculation and
rumor. btw, we're 300 WP militia ninja's strong. thats no doubt enough to
overthrow a major city! and, if called upon to do so - WP ninjas dont hesitate!
P4L!
5/26/04 - The Weather Channel re-runs (aka, ATH without Woody)
Panelists: That guy, The other one, Him, and So What
didnt even have it in me to watch ninjas... sorry if im too picky but, as a
reminder: look at what website your on! if you want a jackie mason update, dont
blame me for your existence. your interested in what JA A has to say??? cant help
ya but, you do got 99 problems...
WP, undoubtably, was in Bedrock covering the Buffalo Wing's happenings. world
poker tour champions show was last night. eliminated first at the final table: gustavo
hansen - WOW. winner: ron rose - double WOW. day 5 of the WSOP, i believe???
as soon as i have factual rumor confirmed about next weeks ATH, you'll get it here
or on the message board. do we got 300 WP militia ninjas registered yet?
5/25/04 - Karolina Kurkova (google it ninjas...)(ATH)
WP, JA A, Mary Otti, What About Bob
WP knows DET is gunna win cuz they got a lotta, a lotta, a lotta... WP has
watched the NBA for 37 years! one more year than WAB - LOL! WP's sources,
and they are VERY credible, say Cassell will play but it wont matter, its all
about LA LA.
Mark Martin commercial...
b or s. the only international reporter on this pathetic panel, Genius, sells
Urlacher as the most overpaid athlete and puts it on Becks. A Maurice Clarett
topic?!? wp.com sells comment... WP sells Flushing as dark horses and gets
a -2 for his efforts?!? imgunnabesick.com. of course WP buys Nomar in BOS
just as WAB belongs in BOS.
its oob, where Halle Reali has used 8 out her 9 lives...
WP defines the NBA rules and proves that the action taken against Sam Malone
was accurate. WP does "the stroll" and demands a return of American Bandstand
to TV. WAB declines an opportunity to dance - prude.com
showdown (Genius v. Meathead). WP wants Johnson over Gannon Yogurt +1. WP
says its Kalgarry over Tampa - even. WP knows that Wie wont ever play in the
Masters... you know what - just forget it...
#1, prayers go out to the Plaschke family, notably Grover, who is hospitalized
in Louisville. #2, i love me some hate mail but, non-ninjas... do you actually
think im going to write more/if anything at all, about non-WP topics?!? if thats
what you want, get the hell off my website! btw, what do you think your going to
get on woodypaige.com?!? why dont you start impathetic.com and try to get my
daily hits... #3, a lot of ninjas and ninjettes have been writing in and asking for advice...
john, my teeth are rotting; my food is undercooked; my PS2 hates me; my car isnt
a corvette; my girlfriend is fat, my grades leave Fordham as my only option; etc... now look, stop your crying and smarten up!
you want the solution to all the above??? its right in the merchandise link!
pick up 3 while your at it!!!
P4L!
5/24/04 - a day late, same results... (ATH)
WP (w/a dashing new cut). Cost cutter frequenters: Cowchip, Mary, Charisma
"bringing the filet today", WP has no issue w/game won and likes LA LA. during
this topic, WP gets up from his chair in complete dismay from Stat Girls "controlling".
WP says Rash(w)eed is not the Wallace thats critical to DET's future - its Big Ben.
WP must have just set the First Word mute record... whatajoke.com. quick survey...
anyone NOT interested in what Genius has to say?!? getaclue@ATH.com
b or s. WP buys Gannon Yogurt as a starter in '04 with the cowboys. i hate yogurt - sell.
WP sells the Bengals as contenders in the NL central and feels its still the
Cubs and the Stroh's. WP also states the obvious fact that these other panelists buy at
Target - LOL (just check they're daily outfits...). WP sells the Ay's in the AL west
and says they dont have enough. WP also sells Sam Malone's foul as being
suspensionary.
OMG! what a way to start the week. wedontcareaboutratings@ATH.com
you have a clever question for Genius??? im about to finish the WP FAQ 2K4. if any
ninja/ninjette has something entertaining to ask WP, i may just include it in the FAQ
AND post your name, along with the question... hit me up: js@woodypaige.com
5/21/04 - TGIF (ATH)
Woody Windowpane, Cowchip, Mary Otti and some college Freshman (aka, "pip squeak")
WP gives the Timb's a chance against LA LA. but, WP predicts LA LA wins in 6.
WP gives away the eastern investment as well - DET in 6. the Freshman agrees... in addition, WP is
sporting a white tie with a white shirt - class.
this ATH commercial sponsor girl needs to switch back to regular and leave that
Sanka alone... the decaf is certainly affecting output. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
b or s. Genius buys Martz' job security in ATHgirls backyard. WP also buys the
right of the New York Ranger fans to boo the return of A-Rod in TX. WP buys
Kidds Kidd as a top PG. "you should demand your money back from cost cutters",
WP says to the freshman (LOL! quote of the month for sure). WP purchases the
possibility of Tee-Mack to SAN. after the quote of the month, what does Antonia
do?!? he splits a tie between the People's Champ and the Freshman by giving it
to the Freshman... pathetichost@ath.com. we want Wood! we want Wood!
i'm beyond upset at the moment... to say this ruined my weekend would be an
understatement. i've got the WP Ninja Militia charter jet fueled up and ready to
go to Chechneya. i got $300 million on me and i'm going to purchase an "eliminate
Halle Reali" device... if those Russian scientists need to make it for us - so be it!
P4L!
5/20/04 - American Cancer Society (ATH)
Relationship expert: Woodrow (why arent you wearing a woodypaige.com shirt?!?).
Hosers: Teddy Tablecloth, Mary Otti, Jackie Mason
How about a "Dear Woodrow" advice column? Woody
says the McHales are built to win now and not settle
for mediocrity like Mary has done her whole life - LOL!
Genius says rookie Jackie Mason is under more pressure
than both the Browns and Knets. Woody adds New Jersey
could go on a sudden and quick decline. Mary actually
sides with Woody. What's going on? First commercial
and Woody is just getting started.
Woody sells the Cubs needing a pitcher
with Mary agreeing yet again - is it "opposite's day"? Woody likes
Calgary in the Finals. "You're a bunch of hosers if
you don't think this is great for hockey!" exclaims
Genius. Mary says women go wild out in the streets of
Calgary. Woody agrees with Mary (whats going on here...) in buying
Montgomery Ward as Warriors coach because "When you're
39, you do want to take challenges." Mason says
Montgomery never took logics classes at Stanford.
Woody says the Maloofs don't have a clue. Rookie Mason
is done just like the Maloofs.
oob: Teddy says Drama City should have a
baseball team. Woody prefers football in Vomit country
and baseball in Vegas. wp.com prefers anything in vegas. Antonia says Washington is
Hollywood for ugly people (Teddy Long is from D.C.
which makes sense). Woody says Jesse James became a
Bachelor simply for money, sex and rock n' roll.
Genius informs all that he is trying out for "Senior
Bachelor". Mary gets voted off like Jasmine from
"American Idol".
Showdown: Woody says an unassisted triple play is
more rare than a pinch-hit grand slam - +1. Woody says
Adu graduating high school is more important than
scoring with women - even (hmmmmmmmm.). Woody says "Cracker Jack"
is so 1920s and the prizes are terrible. VICTORY!. Woody uses 15 seconds to
talk about the "American Cancer Society" and the
"Relay for Life".
ninja jimmy... all i have to say is game 7. i better see an "all white"
crowd. DET as WP predicted. smackdown! was wackdown! i gotta card game
to get to. make yourself ninja #300 on this message board. also, get to
google.com and look up karolina kurkova and ask yourself why ATH is late...
same old chicken head clips... look out!!!! P4L!
5/19/04 - late night update...
SAC - 80, MIN - 83. if you read todays update, our fearless, genius leader
gave us SAC +5. WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! now listen ninjas, do the right
thing with your new found wealth. take a moment to check our charities under "links".
after you spend time there, spend some time on the merchandise link. pick up at least
3.5 shirts. fathers day is right around the corner... make certain your dad is
wearing the only shirt that matters!
5/19/04 - Whatever (ATH)
WP (perfect), JA (perfectly boring), Mary (perfectly pathetic), Cowchip (perfectly
filling space)
WP believes its SACK that has the pressure to come out on top in game 7. so,
we are going with SACK +5... take us to the bank WP! "straightening everyone
out", WP says Baby Ruth is the best Mickelson of all time - not the Big Unit.
of course, WP's genius is misunderstood on this topic... get the shirt ninja!
b or s. WP sells MIA's Williams having any issues this season except the inevitable
"munchies" - LOL. "act like Moises and pee on your hands", WP says to Mary and
buys Rash(w)eed signing long term in DET. WP is ATH! WP buys NBC buying the NHL
and suggests a camera view positioned in the endzone - LOL. WP has ATH on his
back! WP also buys the Bears hanging in the NL central.
oob. WP says, "of course it would be me gerbil"!, to Antonia's Secret regarding
who should be on MNF. but, WP does believe that Auburn Charles could fill the role.
lingerie football league... wheres Puke to cry mommy?!? WP doesnt sound too interested
but, offers that "at least L.A. will have a football team" - LOL. WP is the
750il of ATH!
last word(s) as Halle Reali makes a major mistake and WP departs: "whatever".
good, now i get to see LeBron on BET's Rap City... like anyone is staying tuned...
SAC +5 and world poker tour on the Travel Channel. they got that Bachelor crap
tonight if those first two events dont interest you... as a matter of fact, if you
opt out of the first two to watch the latter - stay off my website! the WP Ninja
Mobb is deep. if you aint registered on the message board, get over therre and
get us over 300 registered WP Militia Ninjas. "i got 99 problems and WP eliminated
from ATH is one".
5/18/04 - Bronco/Volunteer orange tie episode (ATH)
Woodrow, Grovers son, Cowhip, Mary Otti
pre-first word: WP suffers a devestating "sneeze attack" and unless ATH wants to
get cancelled, wp.com suggests ASAP medical attention for Genius to stay off the
DL.
WP is not happy about K.G.'s comments and offers a one game suspension as punishment.
Genius can't believe that Mary didnt use Kay Gee's middle name - LOL! Woodrow
is steadfast that its DET coming out of the east. "onion crunching time", says WP
is when the Browns come out on top.
b or s. WP buys Bowlin' in BAL but sells his announcement as a leader. Grovers son questions
Bowlin's interest in Tara Reid - isthisguyforreal.net? WP buys Shannon Daugherty
Sharpe as a WWE commentator. should i sell my corvette and buy a hemicuda? Genius
buys Nash as a top 5 MLB PG. WP also buys and believes the A-Rod acquisition is a
positive for Geeter. Grovers son is gone (hopefully thinking about his opposite
gender ranking system - holla).
oob. WP brings in the props to address any further false truth speculation re:
fisher's shot at the buzza - LOL! bottom line, the props prove, without a doubt,
that shot was good. "joe columnist" is a good thing says WP and further states
that ATH is losing time in hiring me as a "ninja columnist". if your on the same
pa(i)ge, holla at: aroundthehorn@espn.com. let'em know that woodypaige.com is on
the map. we the nucleus of this internet fad!
btw, xoxo to the ratings...
tuesdays..., i cant stand'em. why not just eliminate tuesdays and add another
saturday?!? whats the big deal... since when did anything good come out of a
tuesday anyway? i got 99 problems and "i, max" is one - HOLLA! congrats to milan
a.c. and ajax for taking they're prospective euro football divisions.
5/17/04 - The Brown Pinstripe episode (ATH)
Genius (simply marvelous), Puke (simply annoying), Mary (simply a meatball),
and What About Bob
Woodrow is back (and, unfortunately, so is Vomit) and tells Antonia not to wear a
short-sleeved shirt with a sports coat. Woody - who
was right on with the Lakers - said Kobe was "in his
office". What About Bob is ashamed of Woody. wp.com is ashamed that someone hired Puke. "Didn't I teach you
anything?" asks Bob to Genius. Bob says Shaq deserved
the most credit. Bob also says the Maloofs are worthy
of being a Lakers' opponent with Miller High Life
being the difference. "Didn't you teach me anything
back when I was telling you that the ABA at the end
was a lot better than the NBA?" - YEAH! asks Woody who takes
the McHales over the "pimento" Kings. First commercial
and doesn't Woody sport a FL tan with grace???
Buy or Sell: Woody says Roy Jones Jr. (and Vomit) is
tarnished. "Jones's relatives felt this to the bottom
of their toes!" says Woody. Genius sells Jerry Garcia
winning a major before el Tigre wins his next. Is Mary
concerned about Tigers slump?!? alrightalready!.com Genius says the AL East is better than the
NFC Central. "I don't care about Tampa Bay." says
Woody. Nobody outside of ninjatampajimmy does ; ) love ya ninja! Woody
says Jason Kidd's Kidd has carried the Knets on his back all
season. Antonia dumps Woody just like Tarver dumped Roy Jones. difference being,
Halle Reali only makes $9.63 an hour... PATHETIC!
what a great sports weekend. what a disasterous start to the ATH week. sopranos
was a joke as well. i dont know who can get to smarty in NY. i didnt even watch
RAW! tonight. i did play PS2 for nearly 7 hours today though. dont you love the
#20 laying into D.W. i swear that D.W. and the "wine-y" little brother of his
are way overexposed. dont let up on'em smoke! heads up - P4L!
5/13/04 - The Weather Channel episode (ATH)
Bottom line: no Genius
Force fed propoganda (that led me to a more entertaining half hour of Weather
Channel viewing): J.A. (just awful), Mary Otti, Jack Black, Teddy Long (starring
in "the worst glasses in existence").
where's Charlie Pierce?!? did he do something wrong too? Huggy has already
entered the "we miss..." category (i.e., T.J.). this BOS situation is a debacle.
Lost Angels is a disaster. when is ESPN/Atlantic going to get me on the payroll?
we need a ninja behind the scenes. hey! a Jessica Beal clip going to break.
imgoingtothrowup.com! send all relevant mail to: newmaterial@ath.com. i
should have an update posted tomorrow re: the whereabouts of the Rolls Royce
of ATH, aka, Woodrow Paige. Cowchips "guest"FAQ has been mailed to him. My
"guest"FAQ will be up shortly. and, not won but, TWO new Top 10's are about to
drop. our ninja Seamax has made his triumphant return. missed ya ninja! what a
weekend coming up - Preakness, short track night racing, a roy jones jr. fight,
arlington park's meet opens, NBA/NHL playoffs. why leave the house?
P4L!
5/11/04 - "Me, Genius" - (aka, ATH)
Genius, Diarrhea of the Mouth, Cowchip (an obvious site frequenter) and Mary
"You Jay, you dont get it", says WP who gives props to both MIN and Sac. but,
gets muted for taking too much time. Woodrow is ATH! dont forget who your
job insurance is Antonia... just quit the delay tactics and give WP his .5 hour.
also, Mary reminds us that he's from chicago - thanks.com. WP is confident
that the LAL's will tie up the series and that Kobely will be A+. an exhausted
Genius is in last place and looking tan as ever.
b or s. Woodrow sells that the Unit is going to be the hot mid-season MLB prospect.
"i, idiot", WP lays on Meathead - OMG! LOL! WP's .5 hour show could start tomorrow
and be the highest rated show on cable! Genius sells any further trouble for Snyder
at Show Me U. WP buys Brown backing Air Force Rasheed and sells Grand Theft Auto's Wade
as rookie of the year and places him third. WP demands that Meathead stop lying and
Cowchip is sent to pasture.
its OOB where wp.com is the nucleus of this internet fad...
So irritated he cant even talk, WP says, sternly, that Le Tigre will still dominate.
WP is not happy that L.A. was ranked #1 sports town by Vogue magazine. Puke is gone
but, even money he ain't headed to Hollywood Park...
the peoples Showdown. WP backs HOU winner they're division while Mary says its
FLA with a better chance: +1. whocareswhathappensnext.com - WP is victorious!
the infamous WP ninja mobb is rolling deep! we're pushing the registered ninja
count to 300. we got ATH on lock. we got mcgriddles on lock. WP is #1 on the
billboard charts. WP will be the #1 movie over the weekend. WP single handidly
gave us a positive DOW and Nasdaq today. now, go get 5 WP shirts... holla at me.
5/10/04 - a day late but, near $750 richer from playing $10/$20
on the boat - ATH
Genius (well hung and sporting a ravishing pinstripe),
Puke, Mary Otti, Just Bob Ryan.
Woody declares the Lakers are back after Sunday's Game 3 win.
when can we declare Vomit gone? Puke says "the Lakers
have been to the plate eight times and hit two home
runs. - that makes sense. Mary warns that
Co-bee may be affected by all the traveling due to court
dates. Woody says to Mary, "You travel all the time,
does that affect you?". you want wp.com to answer that?!? Genius says the Pistons will
still win the series vs. the Knets and coach
Ballpark Frank will not outcoach Charlie Brown. First
commercial and Woody is in second (with an outfit that Halle can only dream of
on her salary).
Buy or Sell: Woody sells the Eisners overcoming
their injuries in the tough AL West. Ryan also sells
only he is "leasing". Woody says the Maloofs will beat
the McHales but Sactoe is just as soft as Puke.
Ryan calls out Mary for not recognizing the fact that
the home team (Minnesota) had the final say. Woody
says Tiger is not ready for the U.S. Open because he
went with the 3-wood instead of the 4-iron: EXACTLY! Mary
continues to cry "slump!" Genius sells Eli's first
minicamp cheesecake. Woody attended the Broncos minicamp on
Sunday and asked somebody "to take a gun and shoot
me!" Halle Reali chooses to sboot Vomit out of the
next round with a clean headshot. btw, im done with hitman: contracts.
approximately 24-26 hours over 3.5 days. WELL WORTH IT!
Out of Bounds: Woody says "Survivor" (and Puke) is a fraud.
Genius went to Australia while "Survivor" was being
filmed and found a 7-11 about 20 feet from the island - LOL!
Woody says Dracula is the scariest monster and
says Frankenstein would go out by looking at a Mary
Otti column. Mary has a facial to get too.
Showdown: Woody says the 49ers should sign Kurt Angle - +1. Genius says A-Rod is a better shortstop
than Jeter, Tejada, or even Michael Young. Woody
says the All Star Game tie was worse than the sausage
girl incident but Antonia robs Woody at the end
because he took too much of Ryan's time (thats a bad thing!) - pathetic.com
"if you got ninjette problems if feel bad for ya son", "i got 99 problems
but a ninjette aint one". alright all, sorry for the day late but, i was on
a loose table - you understand. the first "i, max" is in the book and i thought
i just watched "i, ATH". anyway, it was nice to see OUR disemboweled and huggy.
we're addressing this topic in the "out of bounds" section on the message board.
a weekend off of nascar reali hurt. RAW! w/o SCSA has been tough. i'm sorry but,
the WWE is going to have to do something big. anyone gunna pay to see that
Judgement Day card?!? eddie v. bradshaw is a headliner?!? we all know whats coming to FSN, should be interesting...
our ninja jimmy is not the slightest bit please about last nights Lightning game...
here it come - P4L!
5/7/04 - ATH
WP (cooler than the other side of the pillow), Puke, Mary Otti, Teddy Long (in
contacts).
"the commissioner cannot be a puss-a-lat-i-mus", WP says re: Budweiser Selig -
LOL! and knocks his reneg'ing on spider ad.'s. WP backs DET coming out of the
east and calls Mary "Alex Trebeck" after her series of obvious questions re: this
Pacers topic. first commercial, first place, first class.
b or s. WP buys the LAD's being significant in the terrible NL west. if you don't
have it already, wp.com recommends buying hitman: contracts for PS2. WP sells
the 49ers as being the worst in the NFL and gives the title to the Phoenix
Diamondbacks. Genius disagrees with Screamin' A. and says the Fillies need to
chop Bowa. WP sells the firing of Pink Floyd. Teddy is long gone...
oob. "the Richard of the month" is Tom Coughlin says Woodrow - peopleschamp.com!
WP backs the Olsen twins as successful teens and hopes Halle Reali can follow in
they're footsteps... disaster strikes...
i got 99 problems but a _ _ _. the beat in that jay-z cut is hot. hope all the
ATH watching moms have a great mothers day. if you aint on the message board, you
aint informed. tons of "insider" data is posted daily. there aint a topic the
WP militia aint discussin'. handle your bidness ninjas and keep it tan!
5/6/04 - I'm back... (ATH)
WP (utilizing R.C.P.), Mary Otti, Charisma, Cowchip
"let me help you out Texas Chainsaw Massacre", WP says to Cowchip - LOL!
WP sys the LAL's will improve. no one agrees. Genius stands alone. wp.com
estimates that Woodrows outfit is coming in at $3k - easy. WP says its Bob
Gibson and not Clemens as the best SP ever. first commerical and Genius is tied
for second and i had my first mcgriddles since returning from europe today.
note to over 15 ninjas, Euro mcdonalds serve beer ; )
the Annoying Voice is still around?!? there's about enough energy in that voice
required to rock a chair...
WP buys Warner as an NYG QB to mentor Eli's cheesecake. for two weeks, i bought
with euro's. WP sells the NYY's staying in first place the rest of the way.
wp.com buys nacho bell grandes when in the states... "Halle Reali, get your mouth
off my time", states WP - OMG! WP is priceless! Genius does not like Pizza at
first base and buys Jackson as the problem in Hollywood.
this episode just sunk like an anchor...
well, im back... jet lag and work had me tied down yesterday. sorry to all ninjas
for the lack of a write-up. a lack of a write-up on wp.com's first anniversary
at that! now, back to business. many chinese stars to all the ninjas that held
it down on the message board. the write up's were all great and your dedication
to spreading the WP virus is much appreciated. ok, i just finished the questions
for a WP "2k4" FAQ. i also have the Puke "guest"FAQ completed and ready to send.
also, i have my own "guest"FAQ to be posted. a lot of ninjas, plumbers, wrestlers,
norweigans, strippers, etc... have posed quite a few questions to me over the past
year and im going to address all rumor and speculation. here comes the motto -
P4L!
4/19/04 - ATH
WP (who is too sexy for this show), Vomit, Mary Otti, Charisma
"a victory in April is as important as a victory in September", Genius points
out re: NYY v. BOS. Chrisma states, "let me straighten Woody out...".
yougottabekidding.com. "you got the right string but the wrong yo-yo" - LOL!!!
WP tells Barf. WP likes what MIN did to his Nugs. "your the yo-yo", jay jay
the jet plane says to Genius. everyone takes shots at the Man on top. WP is
the peoples champ...
first commercial and WP gets no less than 25 marriage propos |
